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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28961421">Road to home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantocat/pseuds/Phantocat'>Phantocat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen, Welcome to Sanditon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:33:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28961421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantocat/pseuds/Phantocat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sorry, my dears. I was supposed to write two current fanfictions, but this story came out on the sheet. </p><p>While we are waiting for the official announcement of the start of filming of season 2 and are still not happy with the finale of the first-we write and read fan fiction) This one grew out of individual scenes that were not included in my other works due to the fact that here Sidney and Charlotte are more emotional than is required for other works. So this story is more like an emotional roller coaster of self-control. In the end, we will have a happy ending, but first we need to solve 3 main tasks: find an alternative to finance Tom Parker's debts, free ourselves from the word given to Eliza Campion, and convince Charlotte that Sidney can be trusted. So, go ahead!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>174</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For starters, a flash of emotion and a little drama</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The garden party that Lady Susan had insisted on was indeed quite lively. It was amazing how 20 miles from London changed the perspective. Bright green lawn, smooth trimmed shrubs, flower fields created by skilled gardeners, autumn flowers. It was all meant to reflect the countryside in celebration of the harvest festival, and Charlotte embraced the artificial, far-from-rustic look with almost deprecating amusement. It seems that the aristocrats who organize a party have never seen real shepherdesses in their lives, since they tried to idealize their image so much. </p><p>Having completed the official part of the introduction to the hosts and guests in the company of Lady Susan, Charlotte finally took a moment of freedom, armed with a map of the park and went to explore it with pleasure. She had already explored the rose garden and the cherry orchard, the carved seasonal flower beds planted like a carpet, and was now heading down the raised garden path toward the maze. </p><p>She was following the map's route, looking around, when she suddenly saw him…</p><p>He stood in a group of friends and laughed heartily. Alive, free, just as she remembered him in the summer. Blue coat, hat. It looked almost like a wedding. A sincere smile that leaves wrinkles near the eyes. He was making animated comments and was clearly calm and relaxed. Not at all what Lady Susan had said when she had written to Charlotte at Willingden about her chance meeting with him. </p><p>Charlotte moved toward him, as if she were listening to a siren, her feet already on the green grass, while the walking path wound in the other direction. And suddenly, as if waking up, she realized how wrong it all was. He must be here with Eliza. She'd better go! And she backed away quickly, hoping not to be seen. But the branch under her feet cracked treacherously, and Sidney glanced back at the sound and glared at her. </p><p>"Miss Heywood!" he exclaimed, taking a step toward her. </p><p>"Mr. Parker, I didn't expect to see you here."  Charlotte tried desperately to hold her head high.</p><p>Sidney's companions were now looking after him curiously, and their eyes were searching Charlotte appraisingly. </p><p>"How are you, Miss Heywood?"  he covered the distance between them in a matter of moments. </p><p>"All right. Thanks. How are you?"</p><p>"It was better when I saw you," he said gently. "I'm very glad to see you, Miss Heywood. </p><p>"You shouldn't say that," and there was doubt in her voice.</p><p>"It's true. I think about you all the time…"</p><p>"What about Mrs. Campion? I think it takes up all your free time"</p><p>"Alas, it is. And that's why I'm so glad she's not around. After all, garden parties don't appeal to her" He kicked the lawn with the toe of his boot, "And I'll use this moment to breathe freely." </p><p>They were both silent until he broke the silence.</p><p>"How did you come to be here, Miss Heywood?"</p><p>Lady Susan" said Charlotte shortly.</p><p>"Ah," he said. "So you're staying with Lady Worcester? Will I be able to see you in London?"</p><p>"I don't think so. I'm here for a short visit and I'm coming home soon." Charlotte studied the shoes carefully. "Friends are waiting for you, Mr. Parker. You'd better get back to them. I apologize."  She curtsied and hurried away.</p><p>He stood there for a moment, gathering his thoughts, but he followed her. Well, fate had given him a second chance, and he wouldn't miss it! And even if he was a bastard in her eyes, he couldn't leave her. With a curt bow to his companions, he hurried after her.</p><p>She wasn't on the garden path. Where could she have gone? He scanned the space with a sharp eye and noticed a gazebo behind the trees. </p><p>He went up the steps and saw her with tears in her eyes. All he wanted to do was hold her to his chest and comfort her. He started toward her, but she looked up at him and waved him back. </p><p>"Wait! Wait a minute, Mr. Parker. We can't be alone!" and her outstretched arm formed a barrier between them. "I didn't go into seclusion to entice you to follow me!"</p><p>He excitedly descended the 3 steps, now remaining outside the gazebo. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Miss Heywood. I didn't want to bother you, but meeting you is incredible! I can't stay away."</p><p>"But you must!"</p><p>"I miss our honest conversations, Miss Heywood. London poisons all living things. And every time I participate in empty conversations, I think about you and your honest opinion. What would you say? How would you react? What would you think?"</p><p>"Mr. Parker, don't. Nothing can be returned and nothing can be fixed."</p><p>"Nothing has changed, Miss Heywood!"</p><p>"Exactly! Nothing has changed! And you're almost married! So leave me alone! It's too painful to see you."</p><p>In the heat of the argument, he hadn't noticed that he was back inside the gazebo, and now he was circling it like a lion about to spring. The distance between them was closing, and he adored every line of her, every tousled curl that was now escaping from her bonnet. Her hair was pulled up and her image now seemed older and more harmonious. </p><p>"No, it hurts too much not to see you"</p><p>She flinched at his words and took a deep breath of surprise as she watched him close the final distance between them, and the next moment he was biting into her with his lips, holding her face. She returned his kiss and sank into her senses. And he was drowning in that feeling, deepening the kiss, and peace and warmth spread through his body. And it was a long time before she pulled away, trying to catch her breath.</p><p>Still holding her face in his hands, he whispered, looking straight into her eyes:</p><p>"Charlotte… I love you, Charlotte!"</p><p>He tried to find her lips again. Something has changed. She didn't return the kiss, and he could taste the salt on his lips. Tears?</p><p>"I... I don't want to be number 2, Mr. Parker. Forget me! And I'll ... try to forget about you. That would be... right."  And she hurried down the steps, heading for the house. Her bonnet hung on her back, held by the ribbons around her neck. An expensive Indian shawl, which the girls usually cherished as the apple of their eye, fell from her weeping and dragged its tassels on the green grass. What do you care about clothes when your life is falling apart?</p><p>He started to run after her, but stopped, slamming his fist against the support of the gazebo. He's ruined everything again! How can he fix it?</p><p>He watched her furtively for the rest of the evening, but he didn't dare approach her. She was noticeably avoiding him, and gave him a last look as she climbed into the carriage.<br/>
And following her gaze, Lady Susan gave him a mysterious look and a sly smile before the carriage pulled out of the driveway and headed for the cities. And he was still standing at the entrance, watching the carriage go by. It seems to be his fate to see his love taken away again by four horses.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>How long can you torment a man in love with random encounters? And what can he do to protect you?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Sidney found himself at the ball a week later, he didn't expect anything good from the event. As he dressed for the evening, he thought about the chances of meeting Charlotte, but quickly gave up on the idea, knowing that she was going to leave. So, after a routine dance with Eliza, he left the bride to amuse herself and gossip in the circle of her intimate friends, and rejoined Lord Babington with pleasure. </p><p>Their casual conversation somehow brightened up the evening and allowed him not to lose control, because in other ways he could be truthful and talk about what really bothered him. And there were three main things that bothered him: Charlotte, Tom's debt, and the wedding. The wedding date has not yet been set. They discussed investment issues two days ago and it is unlikely that anything has changed during this time. And Charlotte… what can I say? So the discussion quickly ended and Babbers went back to dancing with his wife.  </p><p>Sidney's mood darkened again. He picked up a new glass, circling the room and scanning the room for acquaintances. Suddenly, at the other end of the hall, he noticed a female figure gliding uncertainly into the garden. He almost dropped his glass. How could Charlotte be here if she had made it clear to him that she was going to leave? He hurriedly put his glass on the nearest tray and hurried out into the garden to get the vision. </p><p>Charlotte wandered around the gallery, peering out into the garden. Moon. Music outside the window. Fresh air. She was much more comfortable here than in the hall. A farmer's daughter who reads books… She still had no points of contact with the Beau Monde in addition to lady Susan. Although she was personally acquainted with almost everyone present today, she still did not find herself equal to them and did not seek to participate in the conversations. It is much better to look around the garden and inhale the spicy evening air. </p><p>She was reaching for the flower, trying to smell its fragrance in the freshness of the night,when her hand was roughly grabbed.</p><p>"I don't want your company!" I've already told you. Let me go!"  And she jerked her hand violently out of the stranger's grasp.</p><p>"Don't pretend, you little bitch! You deliberately lured me into the garden to keep up appearances" - And the man climbed to her with kisses.</p><p>Charlotte dodged, and the drunk only kissed the air, and Charlotte was already running towards the entrance to the hall. </p><p>With a snarl of anger, the man quickly caught up with her and grabbed her arm again with a death grip.</p><p>"Let me go!"  Charlotte moaned in pain, but the shackles on her arms tightened.</p><p>Suddenly, there were footsteps behind her and a voice full of anger told her to let go, and then a blow whistled past her ear in the direction of the stranger. The hands that had been gripping her wrists suddenly released and she was instantly in Sidney Parker's arms. </p><p>He covered her with his body, still glaring belligerently at her assailant. Charlotte was not prepared for this turn of events. She didn't even know Sidney was here today! But it was so pleasant and natural to cling to his chest that she almost didn't try to understand what was going on around her until the dangerously menacing words rang out above her head:</p><p>"I challenge you to a duel!"</p><p>"You can't be serious!"</p><p>"If you refuse, the whole world will know of your disgrace!"</p><p>"But then the reputation of this little thing will be tarnished," the gentleman said sarcastically.</p><p>"No, if I only tell the right people. Lord Babington, for instance, and through him I will obtain an audience with your uncle. Do you think Lord Conroy will still turn a blind eye to your outrages, or will he cut you out of his will?"</p><p>"You wouldn't dare!"   the drunken assailant hissed. </p><p>"I'll do it. Just give me a reason. My seconds will contact you to discuss the time and place. And now - step aside. And I advise you to stop drinking for today. You'll need a fresh head tomorrow."</p><p>"I'll handle it!"  and he staggered off, rubbing his sore jaw. </p><p>"Charlotte, are you all right?"  Sidney asked solicitously, turning to face her. </p><p>"Yes, I'm fine. But Mr. Parker, what just happened here? Did you challenge him to a duel? You can't take that risk! For my sake… I'm just a farmer's daughter…"</p><p>"And my whole life..." Sidney continued for her, smiling softly, his hands gripping her shoulders. – "Come on, I need to discuss the incident with my friends, and you need to be in the friendly atmosphere of the ballroom. Do you mind if I entrust you to Lady Babington's care while I discuss matters with my friends?"  And he led her into the hall, to Esther. And for the rest of the evening before she left, he followed her with his eyes, but he avoided a personal meeting, knowing that she would again and again dissuade him from a duel. It was only when he saw that Lady Worcester was preparing to leave that he came up to them at parting, and steadfastly met the anxious gaze and the anxious whisper:</p><p>"Please, Mr. Parker, write to me later and tell me the news."</p><p>"Oh, don't worry. You'll get a letter from me anyway.  And he leaned down to kiss her hand, but stopped in mid-stride and pulled off the glove, brushing his lips against the smooth skin. Angrily, she snatched the glove from his hand and the door to the carriage immediately closed.</p><p>Then everything went on in a blur. He dropped Eliza off at her house, escorted her to the house, and immediately drove off to Babington's. All the preparations were made, the participants were notified, and at midnight everyone left for their homes. Tomorrow they are all going to need a clear head in the morning. </p><p>And in the morning there was a duel, to which his opponent arrived still in a state of intoxication. The baronet's shaking hands determined the choice of weapons – not pistols. The outcome of the duel was to be decided by a sword fight, and Sir Winters grinned at the possibility of dealing damage to this upstart by simply swinging the blade mercilessly in all directions. </p><p>His movements were imprecise and his reaction was slow, but the fervor with which he swung the blade and the rage did their job and Sidney was grazed in the shoulder. It was just a scratch, but there was a bloodstain showing through the torn fabric of his shirt, which only made Sidney fence more carefully. And in the next two lunges, he similarly wounded the opponent in the shoulder and delivered another piercing blow to the arm. </p><p>Blood was spilled. The duel is over. The outcome is declared. And Sidney, the hilt clutched in his right hand, now turned and held his wound with his left. He had already taken a few steps towards the now somewhat relaxed friends when he was overtaken by a question viciously thrown at his back:</p><p>"Hey, Parker! Why did you even stand up for that girl if she's not your fiancee?"</p><p>Sidney's insides were seething at this cheeky comment, but he restrained himself and turned to his opponent, saying clearly in a colorless voice. </p><p>"Miss Heywood is a family friend. I couldn't afford to disrespect her."</p><p>"Yes, exactly! You wanted to keep it yourself!"</p><p>Sidney threw himself furiously at the other man, and brought him down with the point of his sword at his throat. </p><p>"Sidney, no! It's not worth it. Blood was spilled. The duel is over"  His friends were already running toward him, ready to pull him away at any moment if necessary. </p><p>They were right. And Sidney backed away, panting. He's not a killer.</p><p>"Forget about miss Heywood, Lord Winters. It's not yours. I'll take care of it. The duel is over."</p><p>And he turned, heading for Babington, as his opponent snarled and lunged at Sidney from behind. </p><p>The trigger was cocked and a shot was fired.</p><p>"Sir Harold, the duel is over!" Drop your sword! Otherwise, the next shot will hit you!"</p><p>"But you're my second!"</p><p>"Yes, and I have to follow the rules of the match. And YOU're breaking them now."</p><p>Sidney stuck his sword in the ground and was already striding towards Crowe, who was standing by the carriage, snatching the bottle of wine from his hand and drinking it straight from his throat. And then he doused himself with the contents of the bottle, trying to calm down and somehow refresh himself. My thoughts were boiling. The adrenaline was pumping. But he did what he had to do. </p><p>Babington shook hands with his second and was already hurrying to the carriage, taking out a folded sheet of paper and handing it back to Sidney. </p><p>"Bedford Place," Sidney said, jumping into the carriage. </p><p>"I'm sorry, my friend, but we have another stop planned," Lord Babbington said in a hollow voice as he handed Sidney a farewell letter for Charlotte. They rode in silence until the carriage stopped. </p><p>When the carriage stopped in the oak-shaded park, two female shadows separated from the tree.  Crowe and Babington hurried out to let Charlotte into the carriage. As soon as the door was closed, the carriage moved in a circle, and Babington, Ester, and Crowe went for a walk along the garden.</p><p>Once inside the carriage, Charlotte sank into the seat opposite and held out her hands to Sidney in concern:</p><p>"You're hurt, Mr. Parker"</p><p>"No, it's wine," he chuckled, looking at the red streaks on his shirt. There was a cheeky, boyish smile on his lips, and his body was finally able to relax under the steady motion of the carriage. </p><p>Charlotte glanced at his peaceful appearance. Just a shirt and trousers. Without a vest and coat. He was obviously exhausted and wearily covered his eyes, although a satisfied smile settled on his lips. There was no point in scolding him and bringing him up in this state. What was, is gone. He just needed to make sure that in the future, he wouldn't act so rashly and engage in a duel over her again. But all she could think about right now was the open collar of his shirt, the mess his clothes were in right now, and how difficult it must be to keep track of such an active person's wardrobe. </p><p>Charlotte turned back to the window and bit her lower lip, trying not to say her thoughts out loud. But it was impossible to ignore the elephant in the room, or, in this case, Sidney in the carriage, and the eyes darted back to his body. It was only then that she discovered the cut on his shirt and anxiously moved to the seat next to him, trying to get a better look at the wound. </p><p>"Don't worry. Even my butler can handle it"  Sidney caught her hands as they reached for his shoulder, and now he was looking straight into her eyes. As he caught her hands, he dropped the letter that Babbers had returned, and now the scribbled sheet screamed out what might have happened, and Charlotte's eyes read his smooth handwriting with the brief word "Charlotte"</p><p>Charlotte's eyes widened in surprise when she saw the note. Or from fear? All the terror that had kept her awake all last night was now rekindled. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle a sob, and her other hand was already reaching for the note. But Sidney interrupted her dark thoughts by cupping her face in his hand and turning her sad eyes in his direction.</p><p>"You don't need to read it. There's nothing in it that I can't say in person"</p><p>"But..." Charlotte protested. "Oh, my God! You could have been hurt! Because of me! It's just awful. And now I see it, and I realize that if something had happened, I would have received a farewell letter from you? How…"</p><p>"Would you rather I just quietly disappear from your life? Without reminders? In silence?" He asked the question as if it really bothered him, and he desperately needed to know the answer. </p><p>"I don't… Oh my God! Just don't take any more chances! Please, Mr. Parker!"  She was about to hit him, and now she turned away from him, looking out the window. Ester and Babington were already in sight, which meant the carriage would soon stop. And with a sigh, Charlotte said in a sad voice.</p><p>"It's time for us to say goodbye... Now I can safely return to Willingden, knowing that you're all right."</p><p>"I'm not okay, Charlotte"  He reached for her hands. "I'll never be all right without you, and you know it"</p><p>"Yes, but there's nothing you can do about it. We must accept our fate as it is" For him, she tried to be brave and tried her best to keep her voice steady, but her voice was treacherously shaky. "But promise me you won't risk it again?"</p><p>"I can't make that promise, you know. I will always protect you, no matter what it costs me. I can't help it." He said the last sentence as if he were hammering every word into the mind of the person he loved. </p><p>He paused for a moment before continuing.</p><p>"I'm going to have to go to Antigua for a while, until this whole thing settles down. But promise me that you will stay in Willingden and not put yourself in danger."</p><p>She nodded reluctantly.</p><p>"Yes, I'm going home tomorrow morning. Take care of yourself, Mr. Parker" and she put her hand to his face.</p><p>The carriage had already stopped. </p><p>"Call me Sidney" he put his hand on her arm, trying to hold her in that position. </p><p>"You know I can't" tears were already streaming from her eyes. "I... wish you happiness, Mr. Parker. Goodbye" And she got up quickly, threw the hood over her head, and reached for the door, but with a sharp sigh she threw herself on his lap, clasping his face in her hands and kissing him hungrily. </p><p>Sidney was taken aback by her outburst, but he completely succumbed to the feelings and sensations, squeezing her in his arms. To feel her warmth, her weight on me, her hands on his face, and finally her lips, was unbearable. Everything he had dreamed of at night was now coming true, even though the time and place were not right. His hands wandered along her back, along her arms, along her neck, and his fingers were already reaching for the strings of her cloak when he realized that he had lost control irrevocably. His lips had already traced a chain of kisses along the line of her chin, neck, and descended into her cleavage, when, deprived of his lips on hers, she seemed to wake up. There were tears in her wide-open eyes, and her lips whispered almost noiselessly. </p><p>"I'm sorry. Take care. And goodbye…"</p><p>Pulling the hood back over her face, she flung open the carriage door and hurried out, quickening her pace in Ester's direction. All he wanted to do now was run after her and shout his love to the whole park, but he just stood helplessly in the doorway of the carriage, leaning on his clenched hands, and lowered his head in shame as he watched her almost run to the next alley. But Crowe and Babington, seeing his condition, simply pushed him into the carriage and ordered the coachman to move. And Sidney did not see that at the very entrance to the carriage, Charlotte still stopped and glanced in his direction, clutching a written sheet of paper folded in four.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, was Sidney convincing? And how do you assess the behavior of our emboldened Charlotte?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The continuation of our drama has been a little delayed, but now Chapter 3 is ready. <br/>So, Sidney, after a duel with Lord Winters for the honor of Charlotte and a hot farewell to her in a carriage, is taken by friends to Bedford Place. He will have a trip to Antigua, but before that he must say goodbye to his fiancee. What could possibly go wrong in this story?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His friends almost dragged him out of the carriage and led him through the back door of Bedford Place. The footman was already ready. A quick examination showed that the wound was deeper. Still, Sidney accepted all the worries about his shoulder with indifference, but he felt broken for a very different reason. His heart ached as if his opponent's blade had inflicted a deep wound. Only there was no fight, only love and loss. Anxiety about Charlotte's future and dreams of her love threw Sidney into the fire, then into the icy water. She loved him! But there was no way they could be together!</p>
<p>He reached for a glass of whiskey, but the gesture was interrupted by a worried footman, and instead of a portion of alcohol, he received a glass with a bitter herbal decoction. </p>
<p>"It decontaminates and relieves the bleeding," the footman said shortly, and Sidney obediently drank, wincing. </p>
<p>"Do I have to drink this stuff all day again?" </p>
<p>"Yes, sir. If you want, we can add some honey."</p>
<p>"No, it's all right, Rogers. I deserve it, " and Sidney wearily stirred the dregs in the bottom of his glass. </p>
<p>Crowe and Babbers met their glasses and drank the strong drinks in one gulp. </p>
<p>"So, what are the next steps? "Lord Babington was indeed concerned about the situation. Lord Winters ' decency was not to be counted on. This drunken fool is probably already hanging out in pubs and taking out the anger of losing to everyone he meets. But his second will keep him from social events for the next few days, so that the two opponents do not meet until they cool down. </p>
<p>How fortunate that the light was indifferent to other people's personal dramas. Lord Winters threatened Charlotte more physically than reputationally. Very few people know about this. Especially since Charlotte was leaving London, and the importance of Lady Susan's figure would stop the rumors about her, if any. </p>
<p>"Antigua," Sidney said in a monosyllable.</p>
<p>"Yes, that's right. The less you and Lord Winters cross paths, the better."</p>
<p>"Yes, I'm ready to leave tomorrow."</p>
<p>"What's the hurry?"  Crowe asked. "It might arouse suspicion. Also, don't forget about Mrs. Campion. She definitely doesn't need to know about dueling for another woman's honor. This vindictive bitch will stir up a scandal and harm Miss Heywood's future. She is capable of many things."</p>
<p>"That's right, Mrs. Campion. I almost forgot about her," Sidney groaned, and Crowe and Babbers grinned as their friend ignored the harsh words about his fiancee. </p>
<p>"You must go to Mrs. Campion's tonight and spend the evening with her as a model bridegroom in front of the beau monde." Babington finished his drink. "Inform her of your forced departure." </p>
<p>"Yes, and arrange a tender farewell scene on the pier," Crowe said sarcastically.</p>
<p>"Babbers, you're right. I must notify Eliza of my departure. But as for goodbyes," Sidney turned his gaze to Crowe, "I prefer to choose the earliest ship, so that I can be sure that for Mrs. Campion, goodbyes at this hour would be damned early and inconvenient. And I won't even wait for a few days to set sail, but will leave immediately tomorrow morning, citing the sudden urgency of business in Antigua." He took another sip of the herbal concoction and grimaced again. "There's no urgent business in Antigua, of course, but a surprise inspection of Georgiana's facilities will be just in time."</p>
<p>"Well, that's a good plan. And Crowe and I will follow the rumors and the mood of the beau monde to make sure that there are no consequences of the duel. How long do you plan to be in Antigua"</p>
<p>"To be honest, I'd rather not come back until Georgiana comes of age," Sidney smiled into his glass, knowing that it would be another year and a half before that point. "But I'm afraid Mrs. Campion will have plans for my time before then. No date has been set yet, but my departure may hasten her desire to marry. And I think I'll be notified of the wedding date tonight."</p>
<p>His words were dry and subdued. </p>
<p>"For now, I plan to stay in Antigua until spring. I'll give you the details today after I meet with Elise. I'll also have to write some letters before I leave. Tom, Mary, Arthur, Diana, business partners, and…"</p>
<p>He didn't finish, but his friends knew exactly who he was thinking about. And so the ever-sane Babbers finished the sentence for him:</p>
<p>"And Lady Worcester. You must write to her about your departure." Lord Babington's eloquent look said that his friend should not write to Charlotte. </p>
<p>"You're right…"</p>
<p>The silence stretched a little. At that moment, Sidney was just informed that the bath was ready. </p>
<p>"Well, gentlemen, I must rest a little and change my clothes, so that I can play my part for Mrs. Campion. Thank you for your support and understanding. I'm lucky to have friends like you. I really appreciate it. In the evening or in the morning, you will have the details of my departure. I'll also duplicate an address in Antigua where you can send emails." And the friends sincerely said goodbye.</p>
<p>And after that, Sidney was almost ready to drown himself in the bathtub, plunging into the water again and again and finding no relief from the heartache. To see her, to hear her, to feel her touch on my body and her warmth on my fingers was unbearable. The pain made her heart beat faster and her eyes widen every time she heard Charlotte's name. And yet he was involved with another woman. Not out of stupidity or desire, but out of necessity. And the sense of duty further tormented him. He didn't deserve to be happy, but it was unbearable to think that he had robbed her of her happiness, too. He couldn't forgive himself for that!</p>
<p>And sinking back to the bottom of the tub, Sidney opened his eyes aimlessly. As under the water, reality seemed to distort around him, leaving ripples in his life from his decisions and those of his family. Tom… He had to save his family. But honestly, if he had a choice, he would prefer selfishly personal happiness. With Charlotte. And he closed his eyes again, imagining the glittering gold stripe on her slender left hand that had meant his whole life to him and justified every step he took in the seemingly wrong direction. How to get out of the thick of these events? How to achieve the realization of an obsessive dream? And how was he going to get through tonight with Eliza, after he'd known the touch of Charlotte's true love? It was so much easier to die…</p>
<p>Shame gripped him completely. Not only did he not want an explanation with Eliza, but he would try to avoid it as much as possible. But time was running out. There's a ship leaving for Antigua tomorrow, and he'll be there. So, pull yourself together, Sidney, and move forward right now!</p>
<p>He forced himself to get up, dried himself, and dressed in fresh clothes, as if he were going to an execution. He methodically tied his tie, selected a waistcoat, pulled on his coat, and looked at his watch for a long time before putting it in a separate pocket. The clock seemed to be telling him the time, and he could almost hear its fading and nervous movement. But the time was approaching 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and he had to go out if he wanted to find Eliza alone and tell her of his decision. And with a nervous touch to his temples, he snatched up his hat and cane in the hall and strode out of the door. </p>
<p>He didn't have to wait long in Eliza's living room, even though her face had a surprised and rumpled expression, which changed abruptly to a friendly and polite face at the sight of him. But his eyes were still blank. </p>
<p>"Sidney, what a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect you until tonight!"</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Eliza. I arrived early to announce my departure. Urgent matters require my presence in Antigua. It was a sudden decision, but departure is inevitable. It is impossible to delay any longer. I came to tell you and say goodbye." He persistently evaded her kisses and did not offer his hand to seal his own on the palm of his hand. </p>
<p>Eliza looked him up and down appraisingly, narrowed her eyes a little, and pursed her lips. And then in a monotonous voice she asked idly:</p>
<p>"Tea?"  And the bell was already ringing in her hands.</p>
<p>Sidney had no choice, so he obediently sat down on the sofa.</p>
<p>Eliza sat down in front of him and nervously smoothed out the folds of her dress. The silence stretched. Apart from small talk, they had nothing to discuss with each other. But the tea was finally served, and only after pouring the amber liquid into the cups did the hostess say in an even voice. </p>
<p>"Sidney, you can't leave me for so long! What will people say?"</p>
<p>"But I must. I have responsibilities that need to be fulfilled. This trip was planned a long time ago. I need to make sure that Miss Lamb's property in Antigua is in order." Sidney took the cup from her hand, but he was in no hurry to drink it. </p>
<p>"But what am I going to do alone in London?"  Eliza demanded.</p>
<p>"The same as always."  Sidney replied calmly. "I'm sure a lady in your position will find pleasant company." </p>
<p>Eliza looked him over again and thought for a moment.</p>
<p>"It's all about the village girl? I know you saw her at the ball last night. Are you more deeply affected than I thought, Sidney?" </p>
<p>"I don't know what you're talking about" a cup of tea was just the thing to hide his burning gaze in the bottom of it.</p>
<p>"It seems strange to me that my fiance should rush off to the islands the very day after meeting the girl at the ball with whom he spent most of the summer." Her sly gaze burned a hole in his chest. She sipped her tea and went on almost gently.</p>
<p>"Understand, Sidney. I was the wife of an active member of the society for almost 10 years. I learned a lot and now I look at life a little differently. And if you have a craving for a young lady we will be able to solve this issue. In my own way. Within the bounds of decency. We can hire this girl from the village as a nanny, if you like. I don't think she'll have a choice. It is unlikely that anyone would want to marry this colorless person. I'll do it to please you, Sidney!"  And Eliza glared at him. </p>
<p>Anger overcame Sidney. He couldn't believe his ears!</p>
<p>"Don't you dare talk about her like that! Don't touch her soul with dirty hands! You got what you wanted! Why humiliate her now?" He had jumped up from the sofa and was pacing the room, clutching his head in his hands. Did he give himself away? Or can his reaction be explained by the unacceptability of the interpretation of the liberties of morals?</p>
<p>"Because I can!"  She actually raised her voice at him. "For almost 10 years I endured this unbearable old man! And now I have every right to live for myself. For us, Sidney!"</p>
<p>"Why are you doing this, Eliza? You know I'll never see her again" he stared wearily out of the window, his back to her. But reason gradually took over, and he again adhered to the set line of behavior. "I repeat, my trip was planned earlier, but the circumstances have changed and I will have to leave earlier. That's all. The season is over. Events are coming to naught. Next week, the beau monde will leave for their hunting grounds. You are also free to go to the manor or accept an invitation from any of their friends" </p>
<p>"You're right, Sidney. Just a week and London society will melt away in search of solitude and big game. And you could postpone the trip for a week for me."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Eliza, the ship is chartered."</p>
<p>"Well," she said, a frown creasing her face. She didn't like it when someone went against her plan. "Then I'm asking you to join me for dinner tonight. Only the closest friends will be there. And we may need to discuss the wedding date before you leave."</p>
<p>"You can schedule any day, Eliza," he said wearily. "My role is simple – just to be in the church."</p>
<p>"Not really, Sidney. In addition to your presence there, you also need your consent, if you remember," she now looked at him with a seductive look and tried to speak in a languid voice. But it didn't work on Sidney, and on the contrary, it made his whole being shrink at the word "consent". How to get out of this trap?</p>
<p>Eliza, on the other hand, had other thoughts. Her whole being yearned for marriage. And not because Sidney was the husband of her dreams, but because he was a prize for which it is to be hunted. The toy she'd wanted since she was a child. And even though she was now grown up and could buy herself any toy, it was the one that she couldn't get many years ago that was of particular value to her. And the groom's obvious infatuation with another woman made the prize even more desirable. Get it, grab it, don't miss it! And Eliza's sharp fangs could already smell the scent of laurel and the fading heartbeat of suppressed love. Well, Sidney must be hers entirely and irrevocably. BEFORE he leave. She'll take care of that. His generosity would be in her favor. And with a gentle smile, Eliza walked over to Sidney and placed her hand insistently on his chest. </p>
<p>"Dinner at 7, dear. Don't be late." And she touched her lips to his cheek, not daring to do more than that. </p>
<p>Sidney sighed and silently accepted the challenge. </p>
<p>The drive to Bedford Place and back took no more than an hour, and at ten minutes to seven he was back in Mrs. Campion's drawing-room, smiling stiffly at "close friends," many of whom he had never seen before. </p>
<p>Dinner and tedious conversations lasted two and a half hours, at the end of which Eliza pulled him by the sleeve and whispered in his ear:</p>
<p>"Stay, we need to discuss the wedding date before you leave." </p>
<p>And he obediently remained in the drawing-room while Eliza said goodbye to the belated guests in the hall. </p>
<p>The sofa in the middle of the room next to the fireplace wasn't particularly comfortable, but Sydney had no choice. He had barely slept all night, and after the duel and the nervous turmoil of the day, his body needed rest. And leaning back, Sidney closed his eyes wearily.</p>
<p>How much time had passed, he couldn't tell, but he only felt a hand sweep across his chest from the side of his back, insistently exploring the space between his shirt and vest. He nervously grabbed his hand and stopped the movement – the touch was not familiar and pleasant, as if the coils of a snake's body were climbing up his chest. </p>
<p>At the same moment that he stopped her hand, she leaned close to his ear and whispered:</p>
<p>"Relax, Sidney…"</p>
<p>But the sound made him tense up even more.</p>
<p>"It's getting late, Eliza. The ship sails early in the morning. I have to go."</p>
<p>"Wait! Let's at least have some tea!"  And she disappeared through the door of the drawing-room, whence she brought a tray with her own hand. </p>
<p>Something in her demeanor had changed, but Sidney put it down to his refusal. Still, he politely and patiently accepted a cup of tea from her and took a sip. The tea tasted strange, but Sidney again put it down to tiredness, and didn't even notice that Eliza had only poured him a cup. And as he sipped, he looked at his fiancee patiently, waiting for her to speak. But Eliza was silent and looked at him curiously. </p>
<p>Then she got up and began pacing the room impatiently, talking nonsense about the wedding. Where, how, and when. What flowers, how many guests. What should be the color of his vest and what color is her dress...</p>
<p>Sidney watched her move smoothly through the living room, and glanced at his watch relentlessly when he realized that he was getting sleepy. And setting the cup aside, he was about to stop her thoughts and say goodbye, trusting her to make the decision about the wedding on her own, when he realized that his eyes were closing and he couldn't focus. He stood up, leaning heavily on the arm of the sofa, but his legs gave way and his eyes suddenly went dark.</p>
<p>He couldn't remember what happened next, but his senses were sharpened again as the snakes crawled across his chest again, trying to undo the buttons of his vest. With indistinct movements, he stopped them and wearily opened his eyes. He was in a strange room. In the bedroom. And to his deep horror on the bed. Eliza, wrapped in an open peignoir pulled over her corset, leaned over him, trying to free him from the waistcoat. His sudden resistance caught her off guard, and her icy blue eyes were filled with panic. When he realized what they were trying to do to him, he jerked to his side and slid off the bed, still staggering and unsteady on his feet. The door was his ultimate goal.</p>
<p>"How could you, Eliza?" he rasped hoarsely on the threshold. "Never!"  He didn't finish, but he hurried out of the damn place, clinging to the walls and the banister of the stairs in an attempt to get down to the first floor. At the bottom of the stairs he met an agitated footman, who, after a nervous glance at the stairs, helped him into his coat, handed him his cane and hat, and escorted him to the carriage. </p>
<p>It was only in the safety of his carriage that Sidney covered his face and hands in despair and expressed all the accumulated anger. He had almost fallen into Eliza's trap! Only the nasty herbal concoction that the footman had been feeding him all day had weakened the effect of Eliza's sleeping pills. It is only thanks to the diligence of his personal servants that Sidney can still consider himself an honest man. </p>
<p>Well, he had an extra reason to run off to Antigua, and this time Mrs. Campion couldn't stop him!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, what were Eliza's motives in her actions? Why didn't she want to let Sidney go to Antigua? Is she losing control of him, or is it just her lust? Let's discuss it in the comments</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, ladies, just a caveat. Eliza is NOT pregnant. She just wanted to tie Sidney to her, and she thought that by getting him into bed, she could play on the strings of his generosity more than the responsibility of supporting the family by solving Tom's problems. In any case, Sidney woke up in time, although a little shocked by Eliza's morals and willingness to go for meanness</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte woke with a sudden start in her sleep. The room was dark, but dawn was already breaking behind the curtains.</p><p>She slid out of bed. The cool air instantly licked her body, and she shivered from the cold. Bare feet especially felt cold when approaching the window, but there was no strength and desire to go back for slippers. Something beckoned to her outside the window. And abruptly pulling back the curtain, Charlotte gasped and froze: there was a dense fog outside the window, as if someone had spilled milk in the air.</p><p>Charlotte's gaze tried to penetrate the haze and the roofs of the houses, toward the Thames, toward the docks where she knew the ships were moored, one of which was to take Sidney to Antigua that day. Do not damage the fog of his departure? Is it safe? In the port he over now? Does he think about her?</p><p>Oh, how she would have liked to say goodbye to him! But she couldn't. There was no objective reason for her presence. She wasn't his fiancee. She wasn't his family. He belonged to another woman. And they will never be together.</p><p>Still holding on to the heavy drapery, she looked sadly back into the room: her trunks, packed from the evening before, were also ready to leave. The change she had expected from her trip to London had not come. She left even more dejected and even more in love with Sidney Parker. How will she survive this? His departure. And his absence in her later life. When will it stop hurting?</p><p>Right now, she wanted comfort and warmth, but it was deeper than physical sensations. Affection and warmth demanded her soul and heart, and it is impossible to embrace and soothe them, alas. And wrapping her arms around her shoulders, she went to the cold fireplace to look at the clock. 5:20. Early in the morning. She need to force herself to go back to bed and sleep as much as possible. Anything to avoid thinking about him…</p><p>5: 20... At this moment, Sidney Parker was standing on board the Minotaur, a new class of merchant vessel. This fast sailing clipper, created on the Baltimore model, promised to deliver passengers to Antigua in just 8 days. Just what you need! After what had happened yesterday, Sidney was eager to get away from the city. And now, as he held on to the ropes and peered out into the misty gloom, he was leaving behind not only the suddenly furious Mrs. Campion, but also his true love.</p><p>The water under the keel was agitated. A fairly strong wind was blowing from the river. And most of the passengers immediately went to their cabins, hiding from the weather and trying to catch up with their interrupted sleep. But Sidney was in no hurry to leave the deck, as if he had a reason to stay and wait for someone or something. He knew that no one would come to see him off, but he still hoped for a miracle until the last moment.</p><p>As he stared aimlessly out into the gloom toward the shore, he thought of Charlotte. Her future was clear and clear to him. A beloved daughter and sister becomes a wife and mother. The natural course of things for such a charming, witty, sensitive, caring and responsible young lady. But what was unnatural was that in all these images of Charlotte's status transformation, he was always there for her. But that couldn't happen until Tom's debt problems were resolved and he was free of Mrs. Campion. Is it possible? And how long would Charlotte be willing to wait?</p><p>He did not know Mr. Heywood, and he did not know all the circumstances of the family, but he was also well aware that Charlotte would have to marry sooner or later. At the same time, she could have any eligible bachelor in London if she wanted to, as he had discovered at the ball just a couple of days ago. Lord Winters wasn't exactly a model suitor, but Sidney could see the other interested male stares in her direction. And only if Charlotte had decided to encourage the attention of any of the gentlemen in Lady Worcester's entourage, she would have been engaged within a couple of weeks. So Sidney was immensely glad that Charlotte was also leaving London today, even though part of him was well aware of how selfish that desire really was.</p><p>He gripped the railing and looked around. The fog was beginning to clear, which meant that the ship would leave the port at the appointed hour without delay. We don't have long to wait. Trying to cheer himself up after an emotionally exhausting day and a sleepless night, he began to walk slowly along the deck, still keeping his eyes on the ghostly shore, where now he could see the flickering caps of the lanterns. It was only an hour later, when the ship finally pulled away from the shore, leaving the port behind, that Sidney went to bed, intending to sleep until dinner.</p><p>It took longer to recover, and it was late afternoon before he left the cabin. He was immediately invited to dinner at the captain's, where all the first-class passengers had gathered that day. And 8 pairs of eyes met his appraising gaze as soon as he entered the captain's cabin.</p><p>After a cursory glance around, Sidney was glad that the trip would last only 8 days, because there were 3 annoying factors in the company of passengers. The venerable matron in her 40s instantly perked up at his appearance, much to the chagrin of her enthusiastic neighbor, who was devouring her with his eyes. The lady seemed to be the mother of two angular young marriageable girls. The young ladies looked at him and giggled, talking among themselves, which reminded Sidney terribly of the Beaufort sisters — just as down-to-earth, predictable, and narrow-minded.</p><p>"Ah, Mr. Parker!"  The captain rose to greet his guest in person. "I'm glad you could join us. How do you rate the ship?"  The captain spread his hands, looking around and demonstrating the convenience of modern ships.</p><p>"Thank you, Captain Carter. But you know that I'm more interested in the running characteristics, the reliability of the ship and the capacity of the hold. And I am ready to consider options for investing in the lease, purchase or construction of new ships only if the ships of this class really meet all the stated characteristics."</p><p>At Sidney's words about the investment, mother became even more animated, ready to pat the empty seat next to her invitingly, inviting Sidney to join her. The captain, however, had taken a chair from behind his desk and placed it for Sidney next to his cutlery, and the two men now shared a seat at the head of the table.</p><p>The captain quickly introduced everyone, and the casual conversation resumed.</p><p>"Mr. Parker, do you own ships? And the journey is associated with the assessment of the ships as an investment?"</p><p>"No, Mrs. Foley, my trip is related to personal matters, but I am pleased to appreciate the opportunity to reduce the travel time from 3 weeks to a week."</p><p>"You were talking about the capacity of the hold?"  Mrs. Foley's neighbor asked, " What are you transporting?" Sugar? Coffee? Tobacco? Slaves?" - And all this was put in such a tone, as if they were things of the same order.</p><p>"Definitely not the last one!" Sidney replied rather sharply, indicating that the discussion should stop there.</p><p>"But after all the living goods say the most profitable" Mrs. Foley almost leaned across the table, her eyes wide, ready to absorb Sidney's every word.</p><p>"Maybe," Sidney said, putting down his cutlery and leaning back in his chair. "But what's behind all this dirty money? Someone else's freedom. Not everything in this life has to be bought and sold. Imagine that you have a home, a family, hobbies and aspirations, but in an instant it all disappears and you find yourself on the other side of the world, forced to bend your back from morning to night in hard work, regardless of the weather, fatigue and state of health. You don't even get paid. You can't make plans. And you can be resold at any time to another owner, who may be even worse in his love of corporal punishment."</p><p>"Oh, Mr. Parker,I think you're exaggerating. I don't think the workers live in such terrible conditions. The plantation owners are civilized people."</p><p>"Really? In fact, I even toned down the story, eliminating the massacres and riots, so as not to injure the ladies. But let's move away from the conditions of the slave-holding on the islands and think about the very possibility of trading in human destinies. Mrs. Foley, you have two daughters who will soon find a partner in life and get married. Perhaps their hearts are already busy or they are just maturing some kind of attachment. Both they and you, as a caring mother, make happy plans. But someone behind your back decides to do things differently. For example, your daughter has a large dowry, and this is what will encourage a man, perhaps even at an advanced age, to make your daughter an offer. Or worse, knowing that neither you nor their father will consent to the marriage, he kidnaps your daughter and rushes her abroad to Granth Green and forces her to marry. Thus, for the sake of his love for this unfortunate 80,000 pounds, your daughter loses her freedom and, in fact, her livelihood, because from the moment of marriage, the husband becomes the owner of the funds."</p><p>"Oh, I wouldn't want to lose my 80,000 pounds!"  Mrs. Foley exclaimed with a chuckle, though in fact her first impulse was to say that she was glad for the first time that her daughters did not possess such a dowry as would attract the attention of suspicious suitors.</p><p>"Really? Maybe that's the difference between us. I'd rather lose my money than my freedom."</p><p>The table fell silent.</p><p>"But let's change the subject to something else. Why think about things that fortunately will never happen to us" - The captain defused the situation. And for the rest of the evening, the group talked noisily about music, theater, literature, and fashion in London and the islands, carefully avoiding the subject of slavery and the nature of venality. But Mrs. Foley had spent the evening re-imagining Sidney's horror stories, and had seen in them not the instructive side, but only the size of his fortune. She was sure that the sum of 80,000 pounds was not accidental. Men are straightforward and usually use in conversation the images, income and expenses that surround them every day. And Sidney Parker was a business man, and he probably kept a close eye on the balance sheet. So Mr. Sidney Parker was worth 80,000 pounds today! What luck for her daughters. Who would it suit better? Abigail or Florence? Learning this wisdom, Mrs. Foley stared at Sydney's figure in the bottom of her glass. And Sidney at this moment wondered how to survive another 7 days of travel restraining himself from the desire to throw this terrible woman overboard? The hunt for him had already begun, and he could see it clearly.</p><p>In the morning, Sidney's hopes of restoring Mrs. Foley's sanity were dashed. As soon as he stepped onto the deck, the three ladies instantly perked up and changed their bored expressions to lively conversation, walking gently in his direction.</p><p>"Mr. Parker, what a pleasant meeting"  It was said as if it was unexpected, and as if it was really possible to get lost on this ship.</p><p>"Mrs. Foley, Miss Foley"  Sidney bowed insensibly.</p><p>"We were just walking. Will you join us?"  Sidney glanced uncertainly in the direction of the girls, one of whom was trying to hide from the bright sun with a useless lace umbrella, and the other ran her fingers lightly over the ruffles that framed the neckline of the dress, trying to draw his attention in the right direction. Sidney just winced. All these attempts only strained him.</p><p>"I'm afraid I'm not feeling very well. From the sea rolling" he asked, and was about to take his leave when Mrs. Foley caught him by the elbow and caught her hand there.</p><p>"Oh, how sad, Mr. Parker! My girls Abigail and Florence have excellent health and feel great anywhere."</p><p>So, in the course of the praise went to the physical health of the "goods" and their endurance. Sidney wanted to roll her eyes.</p><p>"Even so, young ladies shouldn't be out in the open sun at sea for so long" He leaned confidentially toward Mrs. Foley and, removing her hand from his arm, continued "The bright sun will spoil their aristocratic pallor and they will lose all their charm by the end of the journey."  He tried hard not to laugh as he watched his mother's worried gaze.</p><p>Mrs. Foley, indeed, opened her parasol in an instant, and ordered her daughters to hurry to the cabin. And as she watched her daughters disappear through the door, she reached for his hand again, but he took the precaution to lock them behind his back.</p><p>"Thank you, Mr. Parker, for your vigilance and concern for my babies. It is so rare to meet a well-bred gentleman in our time who is so attentive to details. Tell me, do you travel often?"</p><p>"It happens. Mostly on business, though I admit I'd like to do it more often for plesure"  At that moment, he was thinking of summer and Charlotte, wondering where she would like to go.</p><p>"That's great. I've always loved traveling. And I always told my girls that there was no need to sit at home in four walls. Real life begins outside the home. You can't just sit and wait. We need to act! Unfortunately, we live in a rather sparsely populated place with decent gentlemen. There are mostly farmers and traders around."  She snorted and seemed lost in her own thoughts, but quickly recovered from the painful thoughts and again radiantly addressed the interlocutor, "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Parker, I forgot what you said yesterday about where your land is located?"</p><p>Sidney grinned. How can you be so obvious?</p><p>"Mrs. Foley, I didn't say that. And you don't have to worry about it. I'm in love and engaged" It doesn't matter that these are two independent processes.</p><p>Disappointment flashed across her face. </p><p>"And your fiancee doesn't accompany you?"</p><p>"No, it's a business trip. My beloved has remained in England"  He didn't want to talk or think about Eliza, but he couldn't openly mention Charlotte's name either.</p><p>"But England seems so far away now… If you feel lonely, you can always join me," she said breathlessly, handing Sidney the key to her cabin. Sidney wasn't ready for this approach.</p><p>"Mrs. Foley, you shouldn't be acting like this. I repeat, I'm almost married! I have a love that I will not betray under any circumstances. I'm faithful"  He rejected the key with a delay that gave Mrs. Foley false hope, so she pressed the key firmly into his hand again and walked briskly toward the cabins, twirling the parasol on her shoulder.</p><p>Sidney stared at the key, dumbfounded, and considered what to do with it. He wanted to get rid of this thing as soon as possible, and he was uncomfortable with the thought that this offer had even come to him. Throw the key over the side? No, then this wanton woman will think that he still has the key and will not slow down in his courtship. He couldn't return the key to her in public; he didn't want to compromise the woman. There was a third option, to give the key to the captain. So he did, saying that he had found the key on the deck where the ladies had been walking. The captain himself made the correct conclusions that the key was lost by one of them and returned it through the head of the family with an official apology.</p><p>After disposing of the key, Sidney turned his thoughts back to Charlotte, thinking how morally superior she was to all the women of London society he knew. It was time to go to his cabin and dream about her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do you think Sidney will make it to Antigua without incident?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sidney finally made it to Antigua, having experienced the new fast ship firsthand and avoiding repeated attempts on his company by Mrs. Foley. He is slowly getting used to life on the island again and is looking forward to hearing from London. But will he get the news he hopes and expects?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a bit of a bumpy chapter and I don't like the style of the presentation in it, but we need it to get to the next events faster. So don't swear too much - I'll edit or rewrite it later.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the trip was more peaceful, though Mrs. Foley tried to play the wounded pride by nervously opening her fan at the sight of Sidney on deck. But the lady's temperament did not allow her to be sad for too long, and after a couple of days, to everyone's delight, she poured out her fervor on another candidate. </p><p>Even now, on land, Sidney watched as Mr. Errington fussed over the luggage of Mrs. Foley and her daughters, while the ladies peered curiously out from under their umbrellas and made unabashed eyes at the people waiting on the dock. But the gentleman's anxiety was in vain: as soon as the trunks were lowered from the ladder to the hard ground, an open carriage appeared at the turn, from which a rumpled and obviously not quite sober gentleman jumped out almost on the move. He strode up to the Foleys with outstretched arms, and with an exclamation of "My dear," broke all Mr. Errington's plans for continuing his obliging acquaintance. </p><p>While Sidney's trunks were being unloaded at the port and loaded into a hired carriage, he stood sadly on the dock and looked out at the sea: somewhere, miles away, his Charlotte wandered sadly alone through the still green meadows. A harsher wind ruffled her brown curls and made her tired eyes water. He wanted to get on the ship immediately and sail back to her, but he had no right to do such things now. </p><p>No more impulsive actions! He must plan and achieve! And Sidney drove the tip of his cane hard into the loose beach sand, as if to make an exclamation point in his narrative.</p><p>But who was he kidding? He had not come to Antigua to act, but to run away from life. And the sudden droop of his head and the slump of his shoulders made him look unsure of himself again. So in a minute he had gone from sarcastic amusement to dreamy contemplation, and from firm determination to a sense of his own worthlessness. And there was no one to share his fears and doubts with here in Antigua. The only person who could help him sort out this mess with his common sense was someone he should have stayed away from. </p><p>Heart stung again. And turning his gaze back to England, he resolved to do everything possible to make the most of his stay in the islands and to reduce the family's debt to Lady Denham, even if he himself had to go out on the plantations and work with his hands in the hot sun. Perhaps in his state of mind, physical labor was the only right decision?</p><p>But his thoughts were interrupted: the luggage was packed and waiting for its owner to deliver it to a cozy house far from the port in Antigua. </p><p>They reached the house just in time: the light raindrops on the window of the carriage had already turned into independent jets, and the sand under the wheels was becoming wet and viscous. If the rain increased, the road could be washed away at any time. </p><p>Old Olsen, who was guarding the house, saw the carriage approaching and reached restlessly for his loaded rifle, but when Sidney got out of the carriage, he put the rifle aside and threw up his hands:</p><p>"Mother of God, Mr. Sidney! Why didn't you warn us, we would have lit a fire for your arrival and dried the house!" and the old servant bustled about his master's luggage. </p><p>"Don't worry, Olsen. It's all right. It was a spontaneous trip. Otherwise, of course, I would have warned you."  And Sidney smiled and hugged the stunned Olsen like a dear friend.</p><p>The luggage was quickly moved into the house. The horses were sheltered in the stable, and the coachman was invited to proceed to the kitchen, where he was provided with a hearty meal and even some rum. The rain outside the window was getting heavier, and soon it was pouring down in a solid wall. </p><p>Having gone up to the second floor to change his clothes, Sidney was now eyeing the ceiling warily. Apart from the couple of hours he had spent here last winter on his way to Mr. Lamb's plantation to fulfill his mentor's last wish, he had been away from the house for almost three years. Who knows how the roof was monitored in his absence and whether it will survive the rainy season? </p><p>But his fears were in vain. Faithful Olsen, one of the first freed slaves, carefully looked after the condition of his master's house, annually carrying out planned repairs. So this summer, he rebuilt the entire roof and partially replaced the broken shards, ensuring dryness in the house during the rainy season. The water pipes were also partially replaced, so that this house did not have problems with drinking water, like the rest of the island's residents. </p><p>Sidney washed and changed into fresh underwear, coming down to dinner in his usual shirt and trousers, without a vest. His remote home and his long-established lifestyle imposed certain liberties on his clothing preferences, and he usually saved his waistcoat and tie in Antigua only for special occasions, of which there were not many on the island. </p><p>Olsen bustles around the table, gleefully pulling out the china and silverware that have been almost forgotten and buried in the chests for the past three years.</p><p>"What a blessing, we were blessed with rain!" he wailed. And although the rains in September were commonplace in Antigua, the old planter, who knew firsthand the lack of fresh water on the island, enjoyed the rain every time like a child. </p><p>"Sit down, Olsen. Share dinner with me."</p><p>"Oh, I'd love to. But there is still so much to do!"  And the old servant, moved to shake off a sudden tear, hurried away, but felt Sidney's warm hand on his wrist. </p><p>"I insist, Olsen. I've been gone for almost three years. And what can say more about life here than a confidential conversation over lunch?" He smiled wearily, sensing his servant's uncertainty. Right now, Sidney desperately needed a friend. </p><p>And Olsen gave up. Swallowing hard, he pulled out a heavy oak chair and perched on the edge of the table, picking uncertainly at a china plate with silverware. But a couple of glasses of ale restored his spirits.</p><p>"You look different, Mr. Sidney. More confident, warmer, and, let me say, softer."  Olsen said, startled.</p><p>"Is it that obvious?"  Sidney reached thoughtfully for his glass and leaned back in his chair, but instead of sipping, he continued to turn the crystal in his hands. </p><p>"In my experience, only a woman can make such changes in a man."</p><p>"Yes, a beautiful woman. What I was running and hiding from here in Antigua caught up with me in England, in my hometown."</p><p>"Then, may I ask, why are you here alone? Where is your lady of the heart?" </p><p>"It's not that simple, Olsen. Yes, I am in love and I know that my feelings are mutual. But due to circumstances, I am forced to marry someone else. In fact, with this step, I must buy my brother's freedom…"</p><p>"At the cost of your own freedom," Olsen nodded sagely.</p><p>"Yes," Sidney said, and was about to end the conversation, but the phantom pain on his left ring finger, where his wedding ring should have been, was nagging at him. And he continued. "And ironically, the woman I first came to Antigua to try to forget many years ago is now my fiancee. But God, I don't want this wedding with all my heart. So much so that he ran away here, just to get away from her stifling company and find a way out of the engagement away from her."</p><p>"I understand, Mr. Sidney. For too many years, my life has not been my own. And I understand more than anyone how important it is to be able to do the right thing, in accordance with the desire of the soul and heart. In such contradictory days, I was helped by the wise precepts of my ancestors and the blessed rites of shamans. You also need to purify your soul to open up to new opportunities."</p><p>"Your shamanic rituals won't help me, Olsen," Sidney said, smiling ruefully and sipping from his glass. </p><p>"Not to your mind, but they will help your soul. Do not refuse, Mr. Sidney, to find peace and insight. The new moon is coming and the Barbuda shaman is coming. Think about it, maybe it will help you."</p><p>"Thank you, Olsen. But I can't rest without her… "</p><p>"I don't insist. And there's still time to make a decision, Mr. Sidney." And the old servant patted Sidney confidentially on the shoulder and departed.</p><p>Outside the dining room, Olsen hurried upstairs, ushering the hastily hired priestess of love out of the master bedroom: in the light of recent events, Mr. Sidney would clearly not need her. His young master had a love that he wouldn't dare betray. And putting a handful of coins in the woman's hand, old Olsen shamelessly led her out the back door into the bad weather, while his master sat brooding in his dimly lit office. </p><p>Sidney stood for a long time at the rain-drenched window before moving on to his desk. The rain here, like the fog in England on the day of his departure, seemed to reflect the vagueness and confusion of his situation. Nothing has changed in a week. But sooner or later the fog will dissipate, and the rain will end. It will be a sunny, clear morning. And this was the kind of weather that Sidney craved in his personal affairs with a special ferocity. </p><p>As he walked around the table, he touched and spun the globe to the British Isles. The town of Willingden was not on the map. Neither did Sanditon (Tom would have been upset, of course). And focusing on London, he especially carefully studied the distance to St. John's, regretting that technology and technology move so slowly that the distance measured by the length of an arm on the map, he is forced to travel by ship from 1 to 3 weeks.</p><p>At that moment, a bright flash flashed outside the window and seemed to illuminate Sidney's thoughts along the way. Indeed, the difference in the speed of the vessels is the key characteristic. If you replenish your merchant fleet with new high-speed vessels, it will be able to provide 3 times more flights per year, which means it will be able to increase the turnover three times! In this simple solution, there was a great chance to speed up the payment of Tom's debts. And he would use it by writing some letters to-morrow at the Baltimore dockyard. </p><p>Satisfied with his decision, he climbed wearily to the top and prepared for bed, but for a long time he lay in the dark, staring at the white silk curtains swaying in the wind. Strong gusts of wind outside the window created a draft and forced the curtains to live their own life. The folds of the light fabric formed a painfully familiar image for Sydney in the night, as if he could travel back in time and space and clearly see Charlotte's white dress fluttering on the cliff in the wind. So thought after thought and memory after memory brought him back to the day when he had first been honored with her kiss, and as he fell asleep, he could almost feel her lips on his, falling into a deep, sweet sleep.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>The rain stopped in the morning, but Sidney's condition did not improve. He still seemed to be floating in a fog. He felt sick, even though he was now standing on solid ground. He wanted to refresh himself, and once again he wished that there were mountain rivers in this warm, mild climate. </p><p>Grabbing a towel, he headed to a secluded cove a 10-minute walk from the house, where a piece of rock shaded the pond in the morning, and the water warmed up much more slowly. Stripped to the waist and submerged in the sea, Sidney now looked around in fascination. Bright colors, a completely different bird's hum, soft waves and emerald water-all this, of course, would have pleased Charlotte. And he would have been glad to share with her the joy of these discoveries, forgetting again that happiness is impossible for them. </p><p>The thought of Charlotte, the surf, and the lonely cove, all brought him back to the memory of his unexpected and awkward encounter with her at Sanditon, and a faint flush came over him. Not once since that meeting had he thought back to the cove and considered his behavior and hers, but he was surprisingly unrepentant, as if talking to her in the nude was the most natural thing to do. However, it did not escape him that his bravado at the unexpected meeting was a kind of defense mechanism against her omnipresent presence in his life, when the usual framework was moving and breaking. And although he was firmly convinced that at that moment he had not yet thought of Charlotte in a romantic way, he still dared to hope that on her part the thaw in relations arose precisely after the meeting in the cove, when the masks (and not only) were thrown off. </p><p>The image of Charlotte and the scenarios of the encounter in the cove, which had haunted him in his dreams, now overwhelmed him with a new force, and to clear himself, he plunged into the water completely and swam under the water for quite a long distance. But the warm water washing over his body didn't help. So, to calm down, he will have to swim hard and long today. </p><p>It was the thirtieth time Sidney had crossed the bay from one end to the other when he finally began to tire, and he rolled over on his back in the shallow water and stared blankly at the clear blue sky, letting the waves move his body toward the shore. </p><p>Time seemed to have disappeared. The sounds around him faded into the background. Sidney closed his eyes, relaxing, and conjuring up a familiar and pure image of Charlotte. Distracted by his own thoughts, he didn't notice the movement in the water, and a moment later he shuddered as two grasping hands swept across his chest, bringing back the snake-like comparisons. Sidney immediately woke up, recoiled, touched the bottom with his feet, and was surprised to find a naked woman behind him: a native of Antigua was testing her charms on a rich gentleman, trying to find a new patron for life. </p><p>"What are you doing?"  Sidney asked indignantly.</p><p>"What does it look like, Mr. Parker?"  And the woman's hands were reaching for his chest again. But Sidney backed away, eluding her touch and trying to cover himself with the water.</p><p>"I'm not interested. Leave me alone!"</p><p>"Every person in this world needs love," and the woman was moving insistently in his direction.</p><p>"You're wrong. You have nothing to offer me. I already have love and I won't trade it for anything. There is no cheating in love. Get dressed and leave me alone. You have nothing to catch here."  And he stared sternly into the intruder's eyes, as if oblivious to the naked flesh on display. "Are you in no hurry? Well, I'll leave then, " and Sidney was about to turn around when he heard the professional's sad voice. </p><p>"I see it now. I admit, Mr. Parker, I haven't met a loyal man in a long time. And your chosen one is really lucky." And the woman turned away and shamefacedly walked to the shore, and Sidney, following her retreating silhouette, felt only sincere pity for her. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Almost two weeks have passed since the unfortunate misunderstanding, and fortunately no one has disturbed his peace again. Sidney still swam in the bay in the morning, and later sat down to business letters, or toured the plantations in search of new contracts, or discussed business with the manager of the Georgiana estate. Life went on as usual, but now he felt particularly lonely, realizing that there had been no news from England until now.</p><p>Fortunately, it was on this day that the massive ship was unloaded in the port and in the late afternoon the long-awaited letters arrived on Mr. Sidney Parker's desk.</p><p>He opened the letters from his brother and from Mary first. Tom worried about his sudden departure and asked incoherent questions about the weather in Antigua, when he would be back, whether the wedding date was set, how Mrs. Campion was feeling. All Sidney got out of his train of thought was that his brother thought he and Mrs. Campion were planning a honeymoon before the wedding. No! He had to respond to the fact that he was alone in Antigua. It wasn't the first time Tom had driven him crazy for his own good!</p><p>Mary's letter was more satisfying. She wrote about the progress of construction at Sanditon, praising the skills of Mr. Stringer and his promising assistant, Mr. Robinson, whom Sidney remembered from his acerbic comments from cricket. He read the news about his nieces and nephews with great pleasure, knowing that he could not help smiling at Henry's request to collect and send him the most beautiful local shells.</p><p>Arthur asked to send a pineapple.</p><p>Babington talked about the silence in society. It seems that the incident with Lord Winters went unnoticed, and in the absence of Charlotte in London, the lord turned his attention to another object, although the husband of this brilliant lady did not like it very much. </p><p>Crowe wrote in detail about Mrs. Campion's behavior in his message. According to a friend, Eliza is not very saddened by his departure and is at all events. But the frequency of her conversations about the wedding has fortunately decreased. But this may not be so encouraging if the lady believes that the novelty in this topic is no longer there. </p><p>Sidney closed his eyes. Eliza was the last person he wanted to think about. But he was still engaged! And the scene on the night of his departure made things even more complicated. They hadn't seen or spoken to each other since, although her behavior did require an explanation. </p><p>As if in answer to his question, an envelope appeared in the pile of letters he was sorting through, addressed in a smooth, elegant hand. Eliza. He turned the light envelope over, afraid to open it. What was there? He could hardly count on her conscious decision to release him from his word. </p><p>He opened the envelope. The inscription inside consisted of only one sentence. Dates. "April 21". That's all. </p><p>He closed his eyes and rested his head wearily in his hands. He was back in Antigua, and he was thinking about Eliza again. But how his thoughts on this matter have changed in 10 years!</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So, Sidney, knowing the countdown date to the unwanted event, goes to work with her head, just to break out of the engagement. At the same time, he encounters local customs, struggles with nightmares, and awkwardly celebrates his birthday.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Since receiving the letter with the date of the wedding, Sidney has plunged even harder into business. His days from morning to night were now occupied with business papers and negotiations with potential suppliers both in Antigua and on the neighboring islands. And it often happened that he was forced to spend the night away from home, making a busy schedule of meetings and trying to speed up the conclusion of transactions. </p><p>He often visited the port, arranging for the lease of ships for the delivery of goods, the transactions for which were already concluded. He welcomed the captains and team of his ships every time they were in port at St. John's. And after discussing plans to replace the ships with high-speed clippers, he received enthusiastic approval from experienced captains, as well as good advice on the design and equipment of new ships, which immediately became points in the construction contracts. </p><p>Everything went on as usual, but it wasn't enough for Sidney. The projected income in his settlement book was barely more than 10,000 pounds, and the investment in new ships seemed to push the deadline for paying off Tom's debt further and further. How to solve the problem of Tom's debts and security for Sanditon in six months, if it takes more than six months to build ships, and the gathering of the team and the first successful flights will solve only half of the problem? The imported goods still had to be sold profitably, which means that the number of partners in London needs to be expanded. It is important to find a trusted person in London who can enter into supply contracts on his behalf. But how difficult it was to find an honest assistant with business acumen, without being able to personally look him in the eye!</p><p>After studying a couple more letters of recommendation from one of the candidates for the position of manager, Sidney wearily reached for the teapot and filled a cup. The tea was already cold, and the candles were small stubs. With a sigh, he stood up and stretched, walking to the window, pulling back the curtain and peering out into the darkness at the tropical garden. The candle in the streetlamp was almost burned out, but its dim light still illuminated the space much better than the waning moon. </p><p>There was a knock on the door, and then, in the reflection of the glass, Sidney saw Olsen with a tea tray, on which, in addition to tea, there was also a plate with a piece of cake, from which a lit holiday candle stuck out awkwardly, but pathetically. </p><p>"Happy Birthday, Mr. Sidney. I know you've given up on the idea of a holiday dinner, but I took the liberty of ordering at least a birthday cake!"</p><p>"Thank you, Olsen! That's very nice," Sidney said with a smile, walking slowly back to the table. </p><p>"If the tea isn't enough, there's a chilled bottle of wine in the cellar. Well, as always, you can splash something stronger" Olsen glanced at the decanter at the far end of the room, which he'd only had to refill twice in the last few months. </p><p>"Thank you, Olsen. Tea is all I need!"</p><p>Sidney sat down at the table and poured a fresh cup of tea while Olsen carefully changed the candles around his desk, looking at his master with concern. The once idle, sociable, and sarcastic man has now become a brooding and hard-working recluse who has deliberately restricted his social life on the island. Olsen was almost certain that Sidney had tried to avoid mentioning his birthday in conversation and had tried to keep this fact of his biography a secret. Even now, Sidney seemed confused, as if he had forgotten about his birthday or felt that he was not worthy to celebrate on such a mundane occasion. </p><p>Almost 2 months have passed since his return, and he has never ordered to invite the port women. And if at first Olsen understood that the owner was in love and inspired by this feeling, then after a month he began to worry about him. All the men on the island resorted to the services of professionals, because the call of the flesh and love can go in the life of a man in parallel ways. But young Mr. Parker seemed to have a different opinion. He would throw himself into his work and finish his day long after midnight by burning a large number of candles, which made this item of the cost of maintaining the house have recently increased significantly. </p><p>Olsen remembered the conversation on the day of Sidney's arrival, and he knew that there was a sense of duty hanging over the master that made it impossible for him to marry the woman he loved, but what he didn't understand was why Sidney was still upset if nothing could be changed anyway. </p><p>One thing was clear: the owner needed a shake-up. So Olsen cleared his throat and said in a raspy voice:</p><p>"The new moon is coming. We are again waiting for the arrival of the shaman from Barbuda. Join us, Mr. Sidney this time. This will allow you to clear your soul and start your new year with a clean slate and in the right direction."</p><p>"Thank you, Olsen. But I am not inclined to take part in mass events."</p><p>And Olsen stepped back. For a while. </p><p>Left alone, Sidney smiled sadly, made a wish, and blew out the candle. And as he watched the wisp of smoke dissipate in the air, he felt immensely alone. It wasn't his first birthday away from home, but it was the first time he didn't have the slightest desire to celebrate. </p><p>It seemed that the whole past year had passed for him in a blank and the date in the calendar marking the completion of the next stage in his life spoke only about what he had not yet achieved. Your own family. Now he thought it only with Charlotte. But in two months, he was no closer to his goal: he was still engaged to another woman, and he still had to help keep the family honest. But as time went on, he became more and more concerned, not only about the date of his wedding, but also about whether a similarly important date was set in Charlotte's life? Sidney had no news of her. Mary's letters were stingy with information about the Heywoods, though they mentioned them in passing. </p><p>The uncertainty burned through him every day, but what hurt even more was the fear that after the announcement of his wedding date, Charlotte might give up and accept a marriage proposal from someone else. Decent men, he was sure, were dangerous not only in London, but also in the circle of her hometown. The longer the time went on, the less likely it was that Charlotte would wait. And although he hadn't asked her to, that day, after the duel, in the carriage, he had seen the depth of feeling in her eyes and knew that such a woman would be faithful to the end. He couldn't let her down! But how unbearable it was to be away from her and not be able to communicate! </p><p>And in a moment of anguish, he wondered for the first time what was keeping him here in Antigua, with the supply contracts signed and the only thing left to do was wait for the new ships to be completed. He pushed the thought away as quickly as he could, trying not to admit to himself that his self-imposed confinement on the island provided a much-needed distance from Eliza, even though the price of his stay in Antigua was also distance from the woman he loved.</p><p>Is it possible to sneak into England unnoticed and avoid explanations with the bride, spending time with the family? Unlikely. His arrival will not go unnoticed, unless he goes straight from the port to Sanditon. And then it will be possible to keep his return a secret for no more than a week, and, unfortunately, the main source of rumors about him in this case will be his older brother. So it was premature to go back now. And he will have to find the manager remotely.</p><p>He sighed, set aside his empty cup and nearly finished apple pie, and went back to studying the candidates ' letters and their recommendations, but he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. All his thoughts were once again drawn to the practical advice and the enthusiastic eyes of the farmer's daughter, who reads books…</p><p>___</p><p> </p><p>Another 3 days passed and the new moon came. Sidney had been feeling tired since early that morning, as the night's vigils over the bundles of papers in an attempt to speed up some arrangements and secure the first free capital flow before the end of the year had taken its toll on his condition. He had gone to bed early, partly to avoid Olsen's insistent invitations to visit the shaman. </p><p>Sleep overtook him very quickly, leading him down a narrow path into a green English garden. There were summer lawns all around, flower beds and fruit trees blooming at the same time, and in the distance, near the edge of the forest, a maze could be seen. And there, inside its complex structure of gardeners, stood a lone Charlotte, looking around fearfully in an attempt to find a way out. Like a true knight, Sidney rushed to the aid of his beloved, but the closer he got to the maze, the higher the walls of the hedge became, hiding all the previously known turns and directions. But Sidney didn't give up and raced at Charlotte's call, pushing through the thorny branches of the plants that seemed to entangle his arms, legs, and body in an attempt to stop him. </p><p>He finally reached the center and held out his hand to Charlotte, seeing a glint of gratitude and tears in her eyes. But at that moment, something slid down his leg, wrapping a long green tail around his body, and a moment later, a snake head with strange cold blue eyes appeared on his shoulder. Eliza. The rings around his body tightened, but he didn't give up hope, still holding out his hands to Charlotte. But the determination in her eyes gradually faded, and now the words "I don't want to be number 2, Mr. Parker" echo back to him.</p><p>In an attempt to soothe and reassure her, and unable to contain his feelings any longer, he shouts at her that she is always his number one, while an angry hiss sounds in his ear and out of the corner of his eye he sees a sharp forked tongue. He was ready to give up his life at this moment, knowing that Charlotte now knew the truth, but to his surprise, the snake rings loosened their grip and now the snake's tail is sliding in the grass at his feet. </p><p>A sense of immense freedom filled Sidney to the brim, and he wasted no time in rushing to meet Charlotte. But his joy was not long-lived. The three steps that separated them were incredibly difficult for him, slow and awkward, as if an external force was holding him back and not allowing him to move. He looked at his hands in surprise and found the ropes pulling him up uncontrollably. It was the same with the legs. His hands and feet were tied like a puppet to a giant crosspiece hidden deep in the clouds, and there was no hint of who the mysterious puppeteer was who was playing this drama with him now. </p><p>With all his strength, he yanked at the ropes and freed himself as if the bonds had never been there. But distracted by his own freedom, he missed the main thing: the green rings with Eliza's eyes now wrapped around Charlotte's slender figure and sharp fangs were already ready to close on the neck of the immobilized girl.</p><p>"Charlotte!" Sidney said, and sat up in bed, startled. His heart was pounding wildly, and the roar of it was like a drum in his ears. </p><p>"It's a dream! It's just a nightmare!" He groaned and sank back against the pillows. </p><p>He caught his breath as he counted to 60, but the buzzing in his ears didn't hit him. On the contrary, it seemed to be mixed with parallel rhythms, and only after a while did Sidney realize that it was the beating of the drums of the companions of the shaman, about whom Olsen had been constantly repeating lately. </p><p>Sleep after such a terrible dream did not want at all, and Sidney, pulling on a shirt, trousers and boots, headed towards the shore. </p><p>A large bonfire, made of logs in the shape of a cone, could be seen from a distance. The rhythmic beat of the drums seemed to arouse some kind of animal rage in him. His feet brought him to the shore, even though he was only a distant observer in the bushes. </p><p>After finishing another song, the shaman stood up and made a rich speech in the local dialect, then closed his eyes and trusted his assistants to spin him around in a clockwise circle. The shaman was spinning around to the sound of cheers and drums, when suddenly everything went quiet and he stopped abruptly, opening his eyes and looking straight into Sidney's soul. </p><p>With slow steps, the shaman approached Sidney and walked around him, and then raised his hands to his face and without touching him, as if forming a mask out of thin air, examined his head, then moved to his chest, arms and legs. </p><p>"You're tied up!"  The shaman said solemnly. "And you need protection" </p><p>After such an eloquent dream, Sidney did not even think to resist, and only watched in amazement as the shaman's assistants now led him to the center, closer to the fire. They put some flower garlands on him, sprinkled him with some oil, and gave him a drink from a bowl, while the shaman, using a small sharp knife, which he had previously carried around in a circle, showed everyone present, made cutting movements over his arms, legs and head, as if cutting something. At that moment, Sidney did not understand what was happening, and he looked at the sharp knife warily, feeling a clear threat. Gradually, however, the sounds around him began to fade and dissolve, and he fell into a deep sleep, not even knowing how he came to be lying on the sand from a standing position. </p><p>He woke up abruptly and realized that he was still on the beach. Only a happy Olsen leaned over, reaching out and helping him to his feet.</p><p>"You're in luck, Mr. Sidney! Jacobb removed your restraints and made way for you with a strong shield. Now you will be fine!"</p><p>"That's right," Sidney said, confused. "I've just realized that it's time for me to go back to London"</p><p>"That's exactly what Jacobb predicted!" Olsen was beaming with happiness "Everything is as it should be"</p><p>Whatever the faithful Olsen worshipped, Sidney was still a rational man and did not believe in all these rites, although the effect of the tincture poured into him was undoubtedly interesting. </p><p>In the morning, Sidney felt refreshed and refreshed, and after breakfast he went to the port to charter a ship for the return trip to London. And although his own ship was still tied up, he preferred to rent a cabin on a fast ship that sailed in 3 days, rather than languish on the road for three weeks. </p><p>On the day of departure, November 21, he checked in at the port, signed the passenger book, and waited for the luggage to be loaded onto the Nemesis. But just before landing, he was stopped by an urgent message saying that a fire had broken out on one of Lamb's plantations. And he stayed. </p><p>In a hurry and not wanting to wait in line for the receptionist, he asked the solidly dressed gentleman nearest to him to inform the team and captain that he was not going, and handed the man his business card to indicate how to spell his name correctly. And sincerely thanking the man for his assistance, he jumped into the waiting carriage and left for the inside of the island. </p><p>As soon as the carriage pulled away, Sidney's companion twirled his moustache with a malicious smile, stepped out of the queue to the receptionist and headed for the ramp. As he passed, he introduced himself as Sidney and took his place, casually displaying the business card he had been handed to the ship. And finally checking the passenger list before departure, the registrar noted that cabin number 8 was occupied and the passenger, Mr. Sidney Parker, was on board.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So, our girl lives her quiet life and still misses our main character</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte returned to Willingden at the end of September, and for a long time wandered about the fields and meadows in a daze, distracted by her own thoughts. The feeling of anxiety did not leave her, and she mechanically turned the globe again and again in her father's office. So many unexplored countries, so many amazing discoveries! And they are all outside of Willingden, Sanditon, and even London. There are definitely a lot more of them outside of the country, even if it's just a small island in the ocean. </p><p>"Where do you plan to go this time?" Her father asked in the doorway, catching Charlotte twirling the globe.</p><p>"Oh," She jumped, startled. "Nowhere in particular. But it's all really so interesting! All these countries, customs, and the road itself. These are adventures that books are silent about!"</p><p>"I knew that once you left home, our cozy world of Willingden would be almost a prison for you."  Mr. Heywood smiled ruefully.</p><p>"No, Dad, it's not. I love Willingden, and I never thought I was trapped here. And the quiet rural life certainly has its charms. Like Sanditon or London, though. It's just different there. And even though I really would like to visit a lot of places, I understand that I am a woman and many travel opportunities are not available to me. But... but why don't you ever travel yourself?"</p><p>"I visited several countries in my youth and it was really nice. But nothing pleases a person so much as returning home. Especially when his family is waiting for him at home. A married man, and even more so a father, sets his priorities differently." His slow, insinuating footsteps and calm voice evoked a different conversation in Charlotte's mind, and a different man, to whom she was now trying on her father's words. How will Sidney change when he's married and has kids? Charlotte could not and would not let go of his image, and again and again she remembered his special warmth in communicating with her nephews. </p><p>"First you came, then your brothers and sisters. Traveling with your family is much more difficult than traveling alone," her father continued, standing next to her at the globe. "Where a man is ready to be content with a piece of bread, cheese or meat, and will be happy just to dry a corner to wait out the bad weather under the roof, women and children need a different comfort. So no, I didn't travel anymore. I don't want to. It's much more important for me to be here with you. After all, no one ever knows how much he is measured. I'm not getting any younger…"</p><p>"Oh, dad..." There were tears in Charlotte's eyes.  "I'm sorry, I didn't… "</p><p>"Shhh… You have nothing to apologize for, Charlotte. This is the natural course of things. And if it makes you feel better, your old man really wants to live as long as possible! And I am very glad that you are friends with your brothers and sisters and will be able to support each other."  Her father's warm arm wrapped comfortingly around her shoulders. "The boys won't be lost. You and your sisters will always have a home and a piece of bread. Still, it's time for you and Alison to think about getting married. Don't roll your eyes, my dear! As much as I want you to stay with me as long as possible, you have your own destiny and sooner or later you will create your own families. And to be honest, I'm surprised that there are still no waiting lists of grooms on the doorstep, because you are the most enviable brides in the district!"</p><p>"Dad!" Charlotte was blushing furiously. </p><p>"And if Alison still might want to keep an eye on the local suitors," father continued dispassionately, "then I'd advise you, my dear, to take a broader view. Your mind and sense of adventure can't be locked up in the countryside. Here's my advice, Charlotte, choose an active, active person, not a stay-at-home person like me! It's much easier for a married woman to travel," Mr. Heywood winked at his daughter. "And since I prefer you to marry for love, so please love the person who will be willing to take you to Antigua!"  His finger was pointing at the island on the globe.</p><p>"Antigua?"  Charlotte asked, trying desperately to figure out how her father knew about Sidney.</p><p>"Yes, Antigua. Is that where your friend Miss Lamb comes from, if I'm not mistaken?"</p><p>"Yes, it is. She didn't say much about Antigua, but what I heard was enough to arouse my imagination. What do you know about Antigua, Dad?"</p><p>"Almost nothing. I've never traveled further than Europe. And to these islands to sail about three weeks." He scratched his beard thoughtfully before continuing. "Why don't you ask Miss Lamb? We can invite her to stay with us."</p><p>"I'm afraid that's impossible. After the horrific kidnapping incident, Georgiana is forbidden to leave Sanditon without her guardian's permission" at this point, it was not clear whether Charlotte was more embarrassed or disappointed. </p><p>"So let's get this permission. You can write him a letter. Or even me on my own behalf."</p><p>"That's hardly a good idea. As far as I know, he is currently traveling." And seeing her father's obvious interest in the matter, Charlotte hastened to reassure him. "I met Mr. Parker before I left London. At the ball. And he told me of his intention. And while Mary may know where to write, we are unlikely to get an answer until a few months later. So no, I'll have to torture Georgiana about Antigua in the letters."</p><p>"Well, that's a pity. However, I have no doubt that you will meet her soon. All the letters sent to you by Miss Lamb, Mrs. Parker, and well-born ladies will invariably lead to new invitations to Sanditon, London, and God knows where else. I've accepted that you won't be with me forever. Just remember what I asked you to do."</p><p>"Be careful, Dad?"</p><p>"No, choose a worthy, loving husband outside of Willingden." He winked at her again, then turned on the threshold and disappeared down the dark corridor, his hands clasped behind his back. </p><p>Charlotte stood for a long time and watched her father walk down the dark corridor, realizing that this was the first time she had ever spoken to her father about marriage and death. But what bothered her most was the fact that her father's description of the perfect husband for Charlotte was a perfect match for Sidney Parker. And the emptiness in her soul began to feel with a new force, as soon as Charlotte was convinced that her father would have liked Sidney very much. What a pity that this is not destined to come true!</p><p>A tear slowly rolled down Charlotte's cheek. And trying to push away the sad thoughts, she looked around the room until her eyes again went down to the globe. And as she traced the trajectory from London to St. John's on the curved map, she whispered: "Where are you, Sidney?", not even knowing that at this moment Sidney Parker, who had arrived in Antigua, was trying to find Willingden and Sanditon on his globe in a flash of lightning outside the window.</p><p>___</p><p> </p><p>Charlotte's father was right: Charlotte didn't have to stay in Willingden for long. </p><p>In November, when all the housework was done, and it remained to wait patiently for the festive season, Willingden sank into a sweet peace. Usually at this time, Charlotte and the other Haywood loved to spend time reading books, meeting the first snow, enjoying fluffy snowflakes, making snowmen, playing snowballs and making snow angels. </p><p>On one of these truly happy family days, when Charlotte and the younger children returned to the house after a game of snow cricket, where the ball was a freshly made snowball, she found a letter from Mary. The letter contained an invitation to Sanditon, with the delicate note that Sidney would not return until next year. Charlotte did not hesitate to agree and 2 days later the Parker carriage arrived for her. </p><p>When Charlotte arrived at Sanditon in mid-November, Tom was particularly excited about the extended dinner party.</p><p>"You've arrived just in time, my dear. We have something to celebrate. Today is my brother Sidney's birthday!" Tom said, as if he had a short memory and Charlotte and Sydney still didn't know each other. </p><p>"Uh, is Mr. Parker here today?"  Charlotte stammered.</p><p>"Oh, no! Unfortunately, he's in Antigua. Though I have no idea what made him run off to the islands so suddenly," Tom said thoughtfully "I just hope he didn't quarrel with our dear Eliza. I was surprised that he went alone, leaving his fiancee in London. However, Sidney was always a mystery. He knows what he's doing. I'm sure."  And his trademark smile lit up his face. </p><p>So on her first evening, thanks to Tom's volubility, Charlotte learned absolutely all the available news about Sidney. That he made his trip to Antigua on a new ship that allows you to cover the distance in 3 times faster, that Sidney partially replaces the ships with high-speed clippers and has already ordered the construction of three new ships in Baltimore, etc. There was an immense sense of pride in Tom's every word, but Charlotte could not help noticing that Tom was actively avoiding his own news and had said nothing about Sanditon's recovery. </p><p>The next morning, Charlotte went for a walk and was amazed that the burned-out building still looked untouched. The charred debris on the street had been cleared away, but the building itself still gaped with empty windows, and the soot on the walls had not been cleaned and painted over. And despair overwhelmed Charlotte. Had Sidney's sacrifice been in vain, and Sanditon had never been saved?</p><p>When she reached Mrs. Griffiths ' boarding house, Charlotte was startled to see the name on the sign change to Mrs. Hankins. This point in the letters she obviously missed. The Beaufort sisters have already left to join their family in London and are due to return to the city by early April. And as a result, the only ward of the new vicar's wife was now only the heiress from Antigua, who welcomed Charlotte with open arms.</p><p>Georgiana's temper improved a little. Without the company of the annoying Miss Beaufort, she realized the beauty of some company. Although Mary regularly visited Sidney's ward once a week and Georgiana dined at Trafalgar House once a week, these two meetings with her guardian's representative also did not encourage frankness. Charlotte's arrival promised a different kind of entertainment, so Georgiana decided to be a moral model, so that Mrs. Hankins would relax her guardianship, and Charlotte would stay in town as long as possible.</p><p>The sharp edges of the conversation about Sidney by avoiding the topic of his decision to marry a rich widow could not be smoothed out, although they began their discussion only with the mention of the very fact of his departure to Antigua. </p><p>"I can't understand why he went to the islands so suddenly. And what pisses me off the most is that he left me here! He should have taken me with him, because I'm so homesick."</p><p>"Georgiana, believe me, he couldn't," Charlotte said, and looked down.</p><p>"Charlotte, why do I think you know even more about this story than the Parkers do?"</p><p>"Because it is. I was in London when he was forced to leave. And I'm partly to blame for the fact that he had to do it."</p><p>"What do you know?"</p><p>"Georgiana, I don't have to talk about this."</p><p>"What do you know? Rest assured, I can keep a secret."</p><p>"Well. He was forced to leave for Antigua because of a duel with a very noble scoundrel."</p><p>"What? Did Sidney shoot? But I can't believe you've been silent all this time and haven't said a word in your letters!"</p><p>"I couldn't. This was supposed to be a secret! After his departure, Lord Babington and Mr. Crow were careful to keep the rumors from spreading, while Lady Susan was forced to divert attention to her events so that the public would not focus on the scandalous duel. So correspondence on this subject was out of the question!"</p><p>"I understand… But why was he even involved in the duel, if someone had their eye on Mrs. Campion? After all, it would be a great chance for him to get rid of her once and for all!"</p><p>"Because he wasn't fighting over Mrs. Campion."</p><p>"Char... Charlotte, am I correct in understanding that Mr. Grumpy fought a duel with a noble lord not because of his fiancee, but because of you?"</p><p>The crimson Charlotte could only nod at this moment.</p><p>"So he really loves you?"  Georgiana said, startled. "I never thought my guardian was capable of feeling anything. It seemed to me that for him there were only rules and regulations. But to break all the rules of society and, moreover, the law like this… This is possible only in a rush of true feelings. And you, Charlotte, do you love him too?"</p><p>"I can't… He's engaged to another woman. I shouldn't even think about it!"</p><p>"And yet you can't. Love is not subject to our decision to want or not to want to love. You know my story. Otis betrayed me, but part of me is still drawn to him, and sometimes I think he's still the one. But what do we know about love other than what we've read in books?"</p><p>"Almost nothing, really," Charlotte said thoughtfully. "But if you ask me who I would like to know about it, yes, I would no doubt confide in Sidney again and again. But these are all dreams…"</p><p>"Well, at least he didn't sell you out!"</p><p>"Yes, you're right," Charlotte said. "But he sold himself to pay off his brother's debts. And you know what's the most offensive thing about this whole story? The terrace was never restored. I was there today, looking into those dead eye sockets of a burned-out house. It turns out Sanditon was not saved, and Sidney's sacrifice was in vain!"</p><p>"This is a temporary hitch. All construction personnel were transferred to a more important facility."</p><p>"But what could be more important than restoring the Terrace to attract tenants back to Sanditon?"  Charlotte asked incredulously.</p><p>"Only the immediate needs of the grand dame. Lady Denham's house almost burned down in early October. It all started in the living room. They say one of the crystal chandeliers with candles fell down. The wing was almost completely burned out. So the builders are now finishing work and Sanditon House promises to open its welcoming doors again by Christmas. They say that the floor in the living room is being completely changed, and instead of this terrible snake, there will now be peonies. So there is a lot of work there and the builders will be able to return to the Terrace only after their completion."</p><p>"I didn't know about this accident. No one wrote to tell me that Lady Denham's house was damaged. How is she?" Is she all right?"</p><p>"Of course! She'll outlive us all! Temporarily moved to Denham Place. And every day he hurries the builders to get back to their home faster. Oh, and you should definitely like it! The house was not insured, so all the work in the house Lady Denham has to pay out of her own pocket. So now the grand dame is looking a little more favorably at Tom Parker's decisions and has granted him a 3-year reprieve so that he can actually complete the terrace and rent the property to visitors, providing it with income."</p><p>Girlish laughter filled the living room. And Mrs. Hankins, finishing her embroidery in the next room, smiled sincerely. It seemed that life was getting better and something was moving forward. The girls in the living room were thinking the same thing at the time: one was happy about the prospect of brightening up their gray days with friendly communication, the other that not everything was lost for the Parker family. Every small victory and achievement of this almost native family seemed to Charlotte now the highest happiness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, Charlotte's in Sanditon. Some of the news surprises her, some even shocks her. How often does it happen that people correspond with each other about the weather and small things, but forget to say the most important thing?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm sorry, ladies, but we're going to have to cry a little bit in this chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The fire at the Lamb estate was not strong and by the time Sidney arrived, everything was already extinguished. The exact instructions given to Sidney at the time of the inspection of Georgiana's property were strictly followed, and it was thanks to them and a specially created fire brigade that damage was avoided. Well, at least the Parkers had learned something from the Sanditon fire.</p><p>The ship had already sailed, and Sydney had to decide whether to wait for the next fast ship to arrive in port, or to decide on a long three-week trip on one of her ships. He chose the first option and was going to wait for the departure of the Minotaur, scheduled for December 16.</p><p>He did not notify his brother of his decision to return for the first time, but wrote a letter about postponing the trip now, describing the experience of dealing with the elements and the methods of protection that could be implemented in the future in Sanditon. And after writing a couple more business letters informing him of the delay in his return, he put them on the table to be sent the next morning. He finally went to bed, not even knowing that today, November 21, 1819, would soon be in all the newspapers in London, and not knowing that the old latch of the study window would not withstand a gust of strong wind that night, and the wind that rushed into the room would sweep his letters prepared for sending under the chest of drawers, where the old blind Olsen would notice them only a month later. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>When the news of the shipwreck of the Nemesis appeared on the front page of the Times on December 2, Tom was only halfway through the article, complaining about the need to transport ammunition on civilian ships. According to the editors, the situation was as follows: On November 21, the Nemesis, a fast clipper, left the port of St. John's in Antigua and headed towards Portugal, where after an 8-hour stop, the ship was supposed to go to London, bypassing the other ports to ensure the speed of transportation. The ship did not reach Portugal, having received a powerful hole below the waterline. The cause of the hole, the surviving crew members called the explosion of gunpowder. There could be no other reason, for the ship sank so quickly that the experienced crew did not even have time to unpack all the boats. As a result, only 3 passengers and 20 crew members escaped, one of whom managed to save the ship's log, which was now reprinted by all the newspapers, increasing their circulation on this news. There could have been more rescued passengers, but many of them did not know how to swim and in hysterics fought off their rescuers, going to the bottom. Thus, on November 24, 1819, "Nemesis" punished almost 60 people. </p><p>That day, Tom casually skimmed through the gossip columns and tossed the almost untouched paper on the table, instantly forgetting about it. But with trembling hands, he was forced to return to her the next day, after the delivery of a bouquet and a funeral card from Mrs. Campion to his house: the widow expressed her condolences to the Parker family in connection with the death of Sidney Parker on the Nemesis. </p><p>A cry of despair filled the Trafalgar house as Tom easily found his brother's name on the passenger list. He was shaking when Mary and Charlotte ran into his office at the sound of the scream.</p><p>"Tom, what's wrong?"  Mary approached him anxiously, seeing the mad look in his eyes and the inability to say anything intelligible. "Sit down, Tom. Are you not feeling well? Should I call Dr. Fuchs?"</p><p>"I don't...I..." Tom gasped. "Sidney…"</p><p>"Sidney?" I don't understand.</p><p>Tom nodded at Eliza's funeral card on the table, and Mary reached for it uncertainly. After reading what she had written, she stared at her husband in bewilderment and whispered: </p><p>"There must be some mistake?"</p><p>"No. This is true. I found his name on the passenger list"  He held up the newspaper in his hand, unable to release it. </p><p>Carefully removing the newspaper from her shocked husband's hands, Mary unfolded it on the passenger list and glanced worriedly at Charlotte, who was still standing in the doorway, trying to figure out what was going on. The wait was not long. Mary quickly ran her finger down the list and stopped at line 8. Sidney Parker. She sobbed, covered her mouth with her hand, and handed the paper to the stunned Charlotte. </p><p>As if in a daze, Charlotte went to the table, unfolded the already well-rumpled newspaper sheet, and easily caught sight of the painfully familiar name.</p><p>"What's all this about? The Nemesis passenger list?"</p><p>"There, on the main... the beginning." Tom choked out.</p><p>Quickly folding the newspaper, Charlotte now greedily absorbed the text of the article with her eyes. </p><p>"But it says here that 3 passengers survived. Who are these people? Could Sidney be one of them? Besides, he's a great swimmer, and he couldn't just go down!"</p><p>"We don't know what part of the ship he was in at the time of the explosion," Tom said irritably, "so his swimming skills may not have been essential at the time."</p><p>"That's right, we don't know anything at all! Maybe he wasn't on that ship at all. This is only a list of passengers and there are no marks about which of them was on board at the time of departure!"</p><p>"Usually the passenger lists that fall into the ship's log, and there are final lists for the passengers present."</p><p>"Mr. Parker, the Nemesis is one of your brother's ships, right?"</p><p>"No, there are no ships with that name on his list. But what does it matter?"</p><p>"We need to interview the surviving crew. It says here that there are 20 of them. One of them must have remembered it! We need to make sure that Sydney was actually on the ship at the time of the tragedy. We can't just give up!"</p><p>"Yes, you are right, my dear! I need to get to London right away! I have to make sure that this is not an unfortunate misunderstanding and interview everyone. And if there's even the slightest chance that he's alive, I'll go to all the hospitals around Portugal and find him! Wikens! Wickens, get the crew ready right away. I'm going to London!"</p><p>"We're going to London, my dear! I won't let you go alone in this state. Charlotte, you're coming with us."</p><p>Charlotte nodded meekly.</p><p>"We take only the most necessary things. We only have half an hour to get ready! I'll warn the nanny and write a note to Mrs. Hankins."</p><p> </p><p>___</p><p> </p><p>The return from London was painful. What had started with the hope and desire to prove that Sidney hadn't died on the Nemesis had ended in complete failure. </p><p>During the 3 days of their presence in London, Tom, Charlotte, and Mary met with all the surviving members of the Nemesis crew. Some of them confirmed the presence of Mr. Sidney Parker on the ship. Someone shared tobacco for a pipe with him, someone he treated to excellent rum, someone remembered his long wavy hair. Someone remembered his mustache. And while it seemed that every single fact about him sounded a little strange, from the lips of the team everything sounded quite plausible, as if they were describing the same person, but from different sides. And as for the strange facts, anything could happen to a person in 3 months. He could change his cigarettes and pipe, he could fall in love with rum in Antigua instead of the less strong drinks he had previously preferred, he could grow a mustache and not cut his hair. But what finally confirmed the family's fears was his signature on the passenger log. It was only after this fact that Tom turned pale and slid limply into the next chair. It was all over. His beloved brother is dead and will not return. </p><p>The reading of the will was postponed until January. Tom wasn't in a position to do anything right now, and he would have to, with Georgiana still in Sidney's care. The business of his brother's shipping company was still handled by his manager and partner, and let it remain so in the future. </p><p>There was one more important thing to do before he left for Sanditon, which Tom had to do on his own: to offer his condolences to Mrs. Campion on the loss of her fiance. </p><p>Tom arrived at her mansion at five-thirty, having bought a nice bouquet on the way. The door was opened immediately on the bell and the card was taken to the living room. Mrs. Campion, in pale silks, received him with surprise, and almost immediately declared that she had not expected his visit. Glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece, she graciously accepted the flowers and handed them to the maid, quickly ordered tea and got up after 15 minutes, referring to business. Tom was a little puzzled by this reception, and could have sworn that as he put on his coat at the entrance, he heard music and laughter in the other living room. </p><p>When he returned to Bedford Place, he was thoughtful and silent, as if he had just begun to process all the information for the day. It was only when Charlotte went upstairs to try to rest that he smiled sadly at Mary and said:</p><p>"You know, my dear, I am a little puzzled to meet Mrs. Campion. She does not wear mourning and still pays social visits. How can this be? Were we all so wrong about her? Sydney has been waiting for her for 10 years! And she wouldn't stand a month away from society for him!"</p><p>"Tom, all people have different ways of dealing with loss. Perhaps it's easier for Mrs. Campion to bear her grief with distractions."</p><p>"But there are decencies! Her fiance is dead, and she's not ready to give me, his brother, more than 15 minutes. And this is the woman we wanted to be related to? We were all so charmed by her manner, her speech. And were they just words? Arthur was right – she couldn't be trusted!"</p><p>"Hush, hush, Tom. Calm down. I know you're upset. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm glad she never became Mrs. Parker, either."</p><p>"But Sidney loved her," Tom groaned, "he would have wanted us to keep in touch."</p><p>"Not necessarily. He might have loved her once, but she had brought him more grief than happiness in his life. So let's let her out of our lives." Mary put her arm around her husband's head. "Go to bed." You need to rest. Get up early tomorrow morning. We need to get back to the kids."</p><p>"You're right, my dear. You're right… I want to go home, away from this cold, secular city. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Tom had been particularly quiet since his return to Sanditon. He spent his days working on paperwork and meeting with construction workers in the city. It will be Christmas in 2 weeks. Work on Lady Denham's estate will be completed and the builders will be able to return to the site. He carefully weighed each of his requests before putting them into action. The investments that Sidney had secured before his departure had not yet been used, but the work had to be done in the knowledge that there would be no further infusions. And though Sanditon had always been Tom's passion, he would have given all the money in the world just to see and hold his brother. </p><p>"How are you, Tom?" she asked softly, as she entered the office uncertainly and looked into her husband's desperate eyes.</p><p>"I'll be fine, my dear. Over time. For now, I still can't believe this terrible news and part of me still hopes it's a mistake. Sidney... he was always unpredictable. What if he didn't get on that ship?"</p><p>"We saw his signature in the passenger book, Tom…"</p><p>"Yes, you're right, Mary… But how do I deal with all this?" Tom spread his hands in frustration and looked around unseeingly. "...without Sidney?"</p><p>Mary didn't know what to say, seeing the deep longing in her husband's eyes. </p><p>"We'll have to manage, Tom…"</p><p>"In any case, I'm glad that Charlotte is with us now. Her help to you is invaluable. And my affairs and papers with her help are in order again.  He smiled ruefully. "Her help is most welcome as we mourn the loss of Sidney..."</p><p>"Oh, Tom... I'm afraid Charlotte's in the same state as us right now. It doesn't make her feel any better…"</p><p>"Yes, yes, of course, Mary. Charlotte has such a good heart. She takes all the sorrows and joys of Sanditon and our family so much to heart…"</p><p>Mary wanted to tell her husband more, but she couldn't. He couldn't bear it if he knew that he'd let his brother down and forced him to marry a woman he didn't love just to help him. But God, how her own heart was breaking at the sight of the inconsolable Charlotte, whose entire life was now divided into "Before" and "After". </p><p>And when Mary asked Charlotte the same question she had asked Tom in the drawing-room that evening, Charlotte smiled sadly and looked absently at her hands:</p><p>"I miss him terribly, even though I have no right to miss him"</p><p>"Oh, my dear, you have every right!" Mary said, hugging Charlotte. "He truly loved you. Don't doubt it. I saw what you meant to each other. And if it hadn't been for that unfortunate fire…"</p><p>"I've come to terms with what happened over the summer. I understand everything. But I can't get this case out of my head! Why don't I feel like this really happened? Why do I feel like he's still around? And why do I still hope for a miracle that he's alive?" The tears were already streaming down her face.</p><p>"Charlotte, it's okay. Tom is also grasping at straws. And so it will continue for quite a long time. You will recognize familiar features in people on the street, you will hear words spoken in a similar voice, you will forget that he is not there and think that he just left. He just won't come back…"</p><p>And at that moment, the man in question was unknowingly stepping onto the deck of the Minotaur, which was supposed to bring him home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope everyone is alive and well after this chapter. I specifically started and ended it with Sidney's story, so you know he's fine and on his way home.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney arrived in London at 10am on Christmas Eve. It took him half an hour to unload the trunks and search for the carriage before he called "Bedford Place" and jumped into the carriage. All he wanted was a hot bath, a sharp razor, fresh clothes, and a moderately heavy breakfast that would allow him to survive until dinner with his family in Sanditon. But adjustments were made to his plans. </p>
<p>He was forced to knock twice insistently on the door of his own house to get it opened. Already tense and tired after 8 days on the road instead of 7, he was not inclined to understand. When the servant opened the door and paused on the threshold, staring in surprise at his suddenly resurrected master, Sidney pushed the door open with his cane and burst into the hall with long strides.</p>
<p>"What does that mean, Curtis? Where is everyone?"</p>
<p>"Mr. Parker has dismissed the servants for the holidays," the footman replied in shock, hastily making the sign of the cross. </p>
<p>"Arthur or Tom?"</p>
<p>"Mr. Tom Parker…"</p>
<p>"Was Tom here? When? That's not like him. Did he have another fight with Mary?" Sidney stopped at the foot of the stairs and looked at Curtis searchingly.</p>
<p>"No," the footman swallowed, recovering himself. "Mrs. Parker and Miss Heywood were here with him."</p>
<p>Sidney had already put his foot on the second step, about to climb to the top, when the precious name reached his ears. He quickly went back down and asked in a changed voice:</p>
<p>"How long have they been here?"</p>
<p>"A little over a week ago, when they were informed of your death," Curtis blurted out, startled.</p>
<p>"What? What the hell are you talking about?" Sidney towered over him now, forcing Curtis to back up against the wall. "Who told them that?" </p>
<p>"Mr. Parker, it was in all the papers! The wreck of the Nemesis. Only 23 people survived. And your name was on the passenger list."</p>
<p>Sidney put his hands to his head at the news. </p>
<p>"Oh, my God! So my family thinks I'm dead?"</p>
<p>"Certainly, sir. That's why Mr. Parker let the servants go for Christmas. We weren't expecting anyone."</p>
<p>All the terrible images of suffering, despair, and grief that had fallen on the shoulders of his family and Charlotte flashed through Sidney's mind at that moment. But there was no time for despair. It was necessary to act. And act fast!</p>
<p>"All right, Curtis. Listen carefully. Bring the trunks inside. They're on the doorstep. Get the bath ready. No, there's no time for that anymore! Bring water to wash in the bedroom. And for God's sake, find me something to eat quickly! I hope the ink in the study isn't dry yet? I need to write some letters urgently." Sidney was on his way to the office when he shouted from behind him. "And find me that damned newspaper!" </p>
<p>Curtis immediately ran to run errands for the owner, making sure that Sidney Parker was really alive, but still did not forget to add holy water to the wash basin and tea, which was served 15 minutes later in the office. </p>
<p>The newspaper didn't say much, but it said enough. The Nemesis sank before reaching Portugal. Looks like there was an explosion. So, we need to make sure that from now on, his own ships do not take on board ammunition. </p>
<p>The second page of the newspaper read out the passenger list of the Nemesis, and why Sidney was presumed dead was no longer a question. But why was he on the list at all if he asked to be crossed out? This was still to be sorted out. There is a time for everything. He will ask questions to the right people and get answers. </p>
<p>Sidney ate a quick breakfast and went upstairs to wash and change. He groaned as he pushed his chin up and down, trying to assess himself in the mirror. A week's thick stubble gave him a careless look, but there was no time to shave. </p>
<p>Leaving Curtis to deliver several letters to his friends and associates at the post office, informing them of the terrible misunderstanding and of his return, he ordered a carriage to be prepared for the journey to Sanditon at one o'clock, and then went to the Magistrate's office. </p>
<p>The station did not have to wait long: on the pre-holiday day, everyone was eager to go home to their family and rescheduled non-urgent matters for later. So when the constable, who had planned to go home early, went out to the waiting room, he was not prepared to see a visitor. And what!</p>
<p>"Mr. Parker?" he asked, puzzled, recognizing in Sidney's stubbly face the man who had recently been declared dead. "Is it really you? We all thought you were dead!"</p>
<p>"That's why I'm here, Constable Bricknell. A terrible mistake has occurred. And I need your valuable guidance. What do I do now and how do I get back to the world of the living?" Sidney asked seriously, following the constable into the office. </p>
<p>"Well, first you will need to provide 3 witnesses who are ready to swear that it is really you. Next, we will send a petition to the court to recognize you as wrongly killed in order to return all your rights and obligations to you. Usually this procedure takes from 1 to 3 months, depending on the workload of the court, but I can..." the constable began to sort through the papers on his desk, "I can offer your case for consideration at the first meeting of the court in the new year, January 3. But to do this, you will need to present me with witnesses strictly before the 28th. Is this real?"</p>
<p>"Of course. I have already sent out letters to my friends and partners and will discuss the details with them in the near future. My brother Tom could also be a witness. I'm going straight to Sanditon after you. So if you have any more instructions and instructions, please contact me at this address" Sidney handed over the business card. "I'll spend some time with my family before I go back to London."</p>
<p>"I understand. I won't keep you from meeting your fiancee."</p>
<p>Sidney coughed at the words. </p>
<p>"Oh, my God, she thinks I'm dead, too!"  He groaned, realizing that his visit to Elise had not been part of his plan at all. Just this morning, on the ship, he had carefully planned to go directly from Bedford Place to Sanditon and visit Eliza only early next year, hoping to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve in a quiet family circle. After all, who knows where he'll spend next Christmas? </p>
<p>"I'm afraid so. Although, I admit, she made a fuss in this precinct. She was twice as persistent as your brother in interviewing the surviving sailors and demanding to meet with the passengers, which, of course, we could not allow her in view of the fragile state of mind of the survivors. And yet, thanks to her, we learned a lot about the tragedy. Without her help, we would never have gotten concrete facts from the sailors. You are very lucky, Mr. Parker, to have such a selfless girl. She didn't believe you were dead until the last moment, and she only relented when your brother confirmed the authenticity of your signature in the ship's log."</p>
<p>Sidney was vaguely aware that the constable wasn't talking about Eliza at all, and a flush of embarrassment crept over his face. But before he could ask the clerk further questions about the "fiancee" Bricknell asked the question himself.</p>
<p>"By the way, Mr. Parker, how is it that you registered on the ship but didn't sail on it?" </p>
<p>"I was going to. After check-in, I was waiting for my luggage to be loaded when I received an urgent message from Miss Lamb's estate, which I temporarily manage. Fire. And I had to leave immediately for the inner part of the island. The queue of passengers was slow, time was running out, and I asked the gentleman in front to let the receptionist know that I was staying. To think that at that moment I was terribly angry that I had to stay. So the sudden fire saved my life?"</p>
<p>"You are truly a lucky man, Mr. Parker. I won't keep you. Hurry to your family and to the fiancee. Merry Christmas! I am waiting for you with the witnesses on December 28. And you can bring your fiancee with you. Under the gaze of her brown eyes, my idlers work better."  And the old constable, with a wink at Sidney, held out his hand in farewell. </p>
<p>"Merry Christmas, Constable Bricknell," Sidney beamed back, now certain that it was Charlotte who had been mistaken for his fiancee by the older clerk. </p>
<p>Charlotte's concern for him was so precious and recognizable, and so desperately comforting, that Sidney loosened the tie around his neck. To know that Miss Heywood was supportive of his family and didn't give up was priceless! And yet, as much as he wanted to be alone in the same room with Charlotte right now, to prove that he was alive, to hold her and comfort her, the cruel truth balanced his impulse to rush to Sanditon immediately. For one thing, Charlotte might not be at Sanditon right now. She could have spent Christmas with her family. And secondly, he would have to visit Mrs. Campion today. And catching a carriage on a busy street in London, he gave the coachman the widow's address. </p>
<p>It was already the middle of the holiday season and all of London seemed to be spilling out into the streets. The carriages moved painfully slowly, so much so that it was faster to walk. But Sidney's controversial status at the moment, as well as his annoying unshaven appearance, stopped him from walking around in this part of London in this form. Wearily, he pressed his forehead against the glass and continued the torturous ride. </p>
<p>Three blocks from the widow's house, Sidney looked out of the window as Eliza strolled along, smiling contentedly in bright colors, arm in arm with a gentleman he didn't recognize, and was happy that his hackney carriage didn't stand out in any way from the line of other carriages. And although his first impulse was to jump out of the carriage and announce his return in public, he restrained himself, realizing that in the current situation, it was better for him to remain dead. The couple who passed him were undoubtedly happy. And who was he to prevent Eliza from building happiness with another man, especially if getting rid of his engagement to her was his dearest wish? He opened the door and, in a calm, even voice, ordered the coachman to turn into another street at the next turn, changing his route to Bedford Place. And looking at his watch, he realized that a carriage was waiting for him at home, ready to take him to Sanditon. I needed to concentrate on that now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Charlotte adjusted the gauze kerchief that hid the cleavage of her simple dark dress, tucked a curl behind her ear, and smiled sadly at her pale reflection as she went down to the living room, where a modest festive dinner was already served. The servants were allowed to go home for the evening, having decided to celebrate Christmas in a quiet family circle. </p>
<p>The children were already asleep. Tom stirred the coals in the fireplace thoughtfully with the poker. The sensitive Diana and Arthur, holding hands, sighed on the sofa, now and then bringing their handkerchiefs to the corners of their eyes. Mary was lighting candles in a candelabra in the center of the table. Almost idyllic, if not for the empty sixth chair at the table. </p>
<p>Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Mary blew out the match and, smiling, went to meet Charlotte, leading her by the hand into the living room. This warm, friendly gesture warmed Charlotte, helping her to forget that this Christmas she was spending away from home and under sad circumstances. </p>
<p>The family sat down at the table in modest silence. Words were not needed. Everyone held on as best they could, so as not to disturb the bright festive Christmas atmosphere with their tears. But everyone's eyes were always drawn to the empty chair with the empty plate at the head of the table. </p>
<p>Tom poured them all a glass of wine with his own hand and raised it solemnly:</p>
<p>"My dears. This Christmas is different from what we are used to. Sad circumstances have shackled us and everyone here feels the loss. But Christmas has always been a celebration of love and hope. And on this day, we must promise ourselves that we will be strong. Sidney was like that. And in each of us, a part of his power is now growing. His memory will always live on in our hearts, reminding us day after day of the admirable decisions he made and implemented for this family. After all, he had no other family. I am glad to have Charlotte with us today, who has long been a part of the family." A sad smile touched Charlotte's lips, and Diana rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. "With his loss, we must rally even more, especially now that our ranks are thinning. So Merry Christmas, dear family. Let's continue to believe in a miracle!</p>
<p>At that moment, the doorbell rang.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I apologize for possible historical inaccuracies in the procedure for restoring the status of an erroneous deceased person. I found almost nothing in open sources, but this path seemed logical to me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tom took a quick sip from his glass, and everyone followed suit. </p><p>"Who could it be at this hour?" he asked nervously, before leaving the table. He hadn't expected good news for a long time, and a call to his house at nine-thirty in the morning hinted that something had happened in the city again. He cast a worried glance at the others and walked quickly to the door. There was an oppressive silence in the living room. All of them had risen from the table and were now looking intently toward the hall.</p><p>Tom, meanwhile, straightening his waistcoat and straining his hair, finally took hold of the door lock. The clang of the metal bolt could be heard in the utter silence of the living room, where the sound made everyone's skin crawl. </p><p>Charlotte started to move toward the hall, but Mary gave her hand a startled squeeze, forcing her to stay by her side, which only increased the anxiety of those around her. <br/>Tom opened the door and stared at the dusty boots. As he moved upward, his eyes took in the long coat, the familiar walking stick, the powerful chest bound in a green waistcoat with brass buttons, and the neat knot of his tie, until finally they rested on the dark, familiar eyes of his beloved brother. Unable to make a sound, Tom pulled Sidney into the house by the lapels with a powerful tug and squeezed him in his arms. </p><p>Hugging his brother was priceless and the feeling of his physical presence seemed to bring him back to reality. Tom quickly pulled away still holding Sydney's shoulders in his arms and asked only one question:</p><p>"How?" </p><p>"It's a long story, Tom." Sidney rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily. "I'm very glad to see you. But could we not discuss this on the doorstep? I'm insanely hungry. Curtis's meager breakfast had been gone for hours, and in my haste to get here after all this terrible news, I hadn't stopped at the inns along the way."</p><p>A smile spread across Tom's face, followed by a wild gleam in his eyes.</p><p>"Mary!"  He shouted almost in Sidney's ear. "We have a guest!"  And pulling his brother by the arm, he strode into the living room. But Sidney looked back at the door, rolled his eyes, and before following Tom, slammed and bolted the door. This second delay, however, played its part: he appeared in the living room, gradually emerging into the light from the dark corridor. </p><p>The already tense household gasped and fixed four pairs of eyes on the person behind Tom. His bearded face, watery eyes, and haggard figure reflected his physical fatigue, but Mr. Sidney Parker was definitely alive!</p><p>Mary was the first to recover, and letting go of Charlotte's hand, she went out with open arms to meet her husband's brother. Charlotte, who needed support more than ever at this moment, felt this loss especially keenly, and now stood leaning on the back of a chair to keep something from falling. </p><p>Sidney's eyes, circling the familiar circle of the household, were now fixed on Charlotte's pale face, unable to concentrate on anything else. He scarcely heard what Mary and Tom were saying to him, automatically answering "Yes" or "No". He struggled to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest, thinking only of how to stand still and not squeeze his beloved in his tight embrace in front of everyone. The fact that Charlotte was here now, in mourning, with his family, meant an infinite amount to him! </p><p>He was about to call her by her first name and hold out his hand when there was a thud behind Charlotte to the left: Diana had fainted. Pushing his brother away, handing him the cane, Sidney was instantly at his sister's side, lifting her limp body to carry her to the nearest sofa. Mary and Charlotte were already bustling around in unison. And carefully laying his sister on the sofa, Sidney gave way to the ladies, trying to keep some distance. </p><p>Meanwhile, Tom and Arthur, seemingly oblivious to the women's flailing, squeezed Sidney in their arms, peppering him with more and more questions. Unable to dampen his brothers ' enthusiasm for his miraculous return, he could at least turn his face the other way so that he wouldn't miss what was happening behind him. </p><p>Despite her genuine concern for her sister's well-being, Sydney's attention was once again focused on Charlotte. Her precise actions impressed him so much that he lost sight of the fact that Mary had been standing on the sidelines for a long time, watching his admiring gaze in the direction of their young guest with a smile. </p><p>Charlotte's efforts were not in vain: Diana recovered quite quickly and suddenly sat down on the sofa, still looking apprehensively at her suddenly resurrected brother. </p><p>"Sidney," she said shakily, "Is that really you? Or is it just my imagination?"</p><p>"It's really me, Diana ," and the brother gently took his sister's hand.</p><p>"Don't ever do that again! Do you hear me? Don't you dare die again!" And Diane pressed Sidney firmly into a hug that was quite strong for her physique. </p><p>"Mary, we really need to find something festive in the kitchen! And wine! More wine! We're celebrating Christmas and Sшdney's wonderful return!" Tom was already bustling around in the living room, turning on more lights.</p><p>The ladies, as if coming to their senses, hurried into the kitchen and returned a short time later with the extra dishes available in the pantry, while Arthur brought out the best bottles from the wine cellar. And before he sat down at the table, Tom jerked off Arthur's mourning band and threw it into the fire after the one he had taken off his own sleeve a few minutes ago.</p><p>The rest of the evening was fun and relaxed. Sidney made no secret of the events that had forced him to abandon his trip on the Nemesis at the last moment, and also mentioned the mysterious passenger he had asked to send a message to the registrar that he had to stay. He also spoke about the procedure for regaining his name and status, asking Tom to be one of the witnesses in the case of confirming his identity. Tom was happy to respond, ready to rush to London at once if it would allow him to restore his brother's name faster. </p><p>The holiday dinner ended well after midnight, but the family wasn't ready to leave Sidney so easily. It was only his direct words that he was tired from the journey and would like to go upstairs that finally forced Diana and Arthur to take their leave and leave, with Sidney's firm promise to attend the Christmas service with them tomorrow. </p><p>It was only as she closed the door behind Arthur and Diana that Mary realized with regret that the servants had been dismissed that evening: Sidney's room was not ready. With a quick whisper in Tom's ear, asking him to keep Sidney talking for a little while while she and Charlotte prepared the room, she smiled and took Charlotte's hand. The ladies proceeded to the stairs with a dignified slow step, and only when they were out of sight of the men did they almost run up the stairs to the second floor, barely suppressing their laughter. Their well-coordinated teamwork allowed them to prepare the bedroom in 10 minutes, even though Charlotte, blushing, took a little longer than usual to make the bed for the dear man, while Mary took care of the jug for washing. </p><p>When they were finished in Sidney's room, the ladies went down to the living room and quickly cleared the table. After that, the candles were extinguished and the house fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time in recent years. </p><p>The silence in the house and the emotions of the day's events kept Charlotte awake. Still with a trembling heart, she went downstairs in the dark and went into the living room, gripping the back of the chair where Mr. Sidney Parker had sat only an hour before. The simple, familiar piece of furniture in the living room of Trafalgar House was a source of strength and comfort to her now. There was something special and intimate about being able to touch the place where her beloved man was sitting without witnesses, and she closed her eyes and smiled dreamily. Her concentration on deep breathing hid her cautious footsteps in the hallway.</p><p>"You can't sleep, either?"  the question came from the doorway.</p><p>Charlotte started in surprise and turned her face to Sidney. His white shirt stood out against the dark background, clearly showing that he was no longer wearing a tie and that his collar was open.</p><p>Charlotte opened and closed her mouth like a fish a couple of times, trying to say something, but everything that came to her mind now was inappropriate for a night conversation alone with a strange man. Her breathing quickened, and Sidney was self-consciously aware that he was watching the rise and fall of her breasts in the cleavage of her black dress, now stripped of the gauze scarf. </p><p>"I thought everyone was asleep. I wasn't looking for a meeting, Mr. Parker. I'd better go," Charlotte finally whispered, bitterness in her voice, and headed for the stairs. </p><p>"Oh, my God, Charlotte… I swam across the ocean in the hope of seeing you again and hearing your voice. Talk to me! Please!"  Sidney grabbed her arm, trying to stop her from running away. "Don't tell me you can't sleep because of the housework. I can see your confusion, because I feel the same way. No matter how tired I am, I can't sleep well knowing that somewhere in the next room, the same broken heart is beating."</p><p>His eyes were looking straight into her soul now. And after a moment's hesitation Charlotte decided to stay and speak:</p><p>"Is it really you? Is this a dream?" she whispered in the dark, running her fingers lightly over the tip of his brow and cheekbone before lingering on his overgrown chin. </p><p>Sidney let out a frustrated sigh, still chastising himself for not having shaved for a week. </p><p>"It's really me. I'm sorry for my unseemly appearance, " and he covered her hand, which was resting on his cheek, with his own, trying to hold the sensation as long as possible. </p><p>"It doesn't matter. The main thing is that you are alive!"- Charlotte smiled tenderly, trying to hold back her tears with all her strength.</p><p>"I am immensely grateful to you, Charlotte, for being with my family at this difficult time. This is truly magnanimous, especially after my terrible act, " he said softly, lowering his head guiltily at the last words. </p><p>Charlotte lowered her eyes. As if they were not drawn to each other, joint happiness was impossible.</p><p>"I have to go. What if someone sees us?"</p><p>"Don't worry. Everyone in this house is their own. No servants. My coachman left the horses in the stable and went to the Crown . You're in no danger, believe me."</p><p>"But that's not right!" We don't have to…"</p><p>"It's not right that, despite our feelings, we have to be away from each other," and Sidney, with a simple, natural movement, wrapped his two arms around Charlotte's waist and pulled her to him, finally realizing what he had dreamed of doing all the festive evening. </p><p>The couple stood in silence for a while, enjoying each other's embrace, until Sidney whispered sweet words in Charlotte's ear in the dark:</p><p>"I've missed you so much, Charlotte. Every single day."</p><p>"Please don't talk about it, Mr. Parker," Charlotte said, pulling away from him. "Your marriage to Mrs. Campion is a settled matter. I'm glad you're alive and that the Parker family has a beloved brother back. But I was here to support your family, and now that you're still alive, I'd better go home."</p><p>"Please stay. At least until the New Year, " Sidney pleaded, weighing the odds of a successful combination of circumstances and the possibility of Eliza's engagement to another man. </p><p>"Why?"  Charlotte asked tearfully. </p><p>"You bring me back to life," he said honestly. "Without you, I have no desires, no aspirations."</p><p>"But it's not right," Charlotte repeated. "I have no place in your life anymore."</p><p>"What makes you think that, Charlotte? Nothing has changed on my side, I'm still…"</p><p>"Exactly," Charlotte interrupted. "Nothing has changed. And you're still engaged."</p><p>"But what if that changes? Do I have a chance, Charlotte?"</p><p>"Don't play with me, Mr. Parker," Charlotte said, tears in her eyes as she backed away from him toward the door, and only when she was safely away did she turn around and run up to her room at a brisk pace. She took off her dress and corset, completely bursting into tears, and then slid under the covers, hugging the pillow, which gradually sobbed out the despair, taking her to the world of dreams. </p><p>For a long time, Sidney Parker stood alone in the living room, staring aimlessly at the doorway where her figure had disappeared. </p><p>Hope turned to despair again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ladies, I'm particularly excited to be posting this chapter on the day of awesome news about the official renewal of Sanditon for seasons 2 and 3! May 6, 2021, a historic moment!<br/>Now it is especially interesting to prescribe possible ways of developing events and compare them with what the writers of the series itself will come up with. </p><p>So, in this chapter, Sidney gets into action, partially embarrassing himself and embarrassing Charlotte along the way</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His outstretched fingers slid insistently up Charlotte's bare thigh, as if inspecting his territory. Greedy kisses covered her lips, neck, shoulders, and chest. He could no longer keep out of the way, and he slid his hand down, bent and left her knee to the side, trying to get inside when there was an insistent knock on the door.</p><p>Sidney opened his eyes and sat up dazedly, clutching the blanket in his fists. Arthur's smiling face sticking out of the door, frustratingly telling his sleepy brain that it was just a dream.</p><p>"Arthur, it's too damn early!"  Sidney groaned in response, and leaned back against the pillows.</p><p>"I know, but I couldn't stay at home. I look forward to the reaction of the people of Sanditon to your appearance at the church today! And so I decided to make sure that you not only did not forget about the promise made yesterday, but also dressed and look decent. Your appearance yesterday was somewhat disheveled. And I came to help! Get up!"</p><p>"Thank you, Arthur. But I assure you, I can manage on my own. Go down and ask for some hot water. This stubble will really take a little longer, " and covering his face with his hands, Sidney waited impatiently for his younger brother to disappear through the door. And then he took his hands away from his face and stared at them in surprise, remembering the incredibly real sensations that he had just experienced in a dream, because his fingers still tingled, as if he really was sliding them over the naked smooth female skin.</p><p>"It's just a dream" he whispered, and let his hands fall limply to his sides, closing his eyes in an attempt to return to the sweet visions. But at that moment there was another knock on the door.</p><p>A footman brought in a pitcher of hot water and left it beside the wash basin. Then he busily opened the curtains on the windows, which were still dark, lit several candles in different corners of the room, and as he went out of the door, made a deep bow, accompanied by the words:</p><p>"Good morning, Mr. Parker. I am extremely happy to have you back. The water is ready. Breakfast will be served in 20 minutes"  He went out, closing the door behind him.</p><p>After lying there for a few more minutes, trying to get his frustrated body together, he sat up with a willful effort. He glanced indifferently around the still-shadowed room, remembering that his journey had come to an end and he was already at Sanditon, and rubbed his temples wearily. This is not the time to feel sorry for yourself. He must act! What was the use of dreaming of her if he could make it a reality? He had to make things right and win back Charlotte's trust.</p><p>Charlotte was late for breakfast that day, which was unlike her. Worried, Mary glanced at the obviously expectant Sidney, who was sipping the last of his cold tea, and smiled as she offered him another cup. Sidney refused, and nervously stepped into another part of the living room, where the children were already gathered. Trying to distract himself from waiting, he was eager to spend time with his nephews and explain his presence to Charlotte, who would be coming down any minute.</p><p>Mary, following his lost glances towards the stairs, decided to take matters into her own hands and quickly went upstairs and knocked, delicately invading Charlotte's bedroom.</p><p>"Charlotte, my dear, aren't you dressed yet? We leave for the church in half an hour. You should hurry up."</p><p>Charlotte sat up guiltily, trying desperately to smooth back her disheveled hair. Yesterday's nervous tension had done its work — Charlotte had overslept.</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry, Mary! I didn't realize it was so late. I'll be right there."</p><p>And with a smile, Mary went out the door and went downstairs with a dreamy, sly smile, as if nothing had happened.</p><p>When, 15 minutes later, a pale Charlotte came down to breakfast in her hastily found non-mourning dress, an idyllic picture presented itself to her eyes. Sidney Parker greeted her with a beaming smile with Henry in his arms. He was clean-shaven, combed, clean, and fresh, as if he hadn't had the same sleepless night yesterday as she had. But there was something in his eyes that expressed extreme embarrassment, as if she had caught a naughty boy doing something nasty.</p><p>At the sight of Charlotte, Henry broke free of his uncle's arms and ran to her with his arms around her, shouting in a ringing voice:</p><p>"Charlotte! Charlotte! Uncle Sidney's back! This is the best gift for Christmas!"</p><p>"Good morning, Henry!"  Charlotte replied with a smile. "Good morning, Mr. Parker. I hope you were able to rest after a long journey?"</p><p>"Thank you, Miss Heywood. I entered this morning with more confidence and hope than I ended the day last night."  He bowed, never taking his eyes off her.</p><p>"Charlotte, please come to the table. You still have time for tea." Mary looked from Sidney to Charlotte with a smile, noting the particular tension between them.</p><p>Charlotte timidly sat down at the table and was surprised to find Sidney sitting in the next chair, pouring himself a cup of tea, which he had persistently refused only 15 minutes ago. He almost glared at Charlotte, which made her even more embarrassed and unable to eat anything from excitement, sipping only tea.</p><p>When she had finished her breakfast, she quickly got up from the table and almost ran to the children, where little James, who had taken his first steps a week ago, happily ran clumsily in her direction.</p><p>"I didn't know James had already learned to walk," Sidney mused, kneeling beside Charlotte and watching his nephew's unsteady footsteps.</p><p>"Yes, he took his first steps last week," the girl replied with a soft smile.</p><p>"How fast they grow," he said, frustration and loss creeping into his voice.</p><p>"Would you like to hold him?"  Charlotte asked lightly.</p><p>"I'm not sure. I've never had anything to do with children of this age before," and Charlotte caught his startled gaze.</p><p>"Come on, Mr. Parker. I'm sure you get along very well with children!"</p><p>Her words were a compliment to him, and he couldn't disappoint her, so he reached out and lifted James at arm's length, peering warily into the baby's face. James opened his small mouth and opened his eyes, his expression frozen with surprise, but gradually his mouth broke into a smile, revealing his only lower tooth, and he let out a satisfied exclamation. Sidney's face immediately changed, and he happily returned his nephew's smile and hugged him to his chest. Charlotte watched this scene with emotion.</p><p>"Oh, Sidney! How do you keep him so calm? When I pick James up in my arms, he screams all the time," Tom stormed into the living room and ruined the magical moment. "Give James to the nanny. We have to go to the Christmas sermon. Kids, get dressed!" And Tom stormed out of the living room.</p><p>The family dressed and went out the door, and Charlotte, buttoning her coat, was again surprised to find Sidney Parker waiting for her, who, seeing her readiness, offered her his arm, on which she leaned uncertainly.</p><p>They had walked part of the way in silence when Sidney cleared his throat and asked Charlotte an innocent question:</p><p>"Miss Heywood, are you still friends with Georgiana?"</p><p>"I visited her yesterday"</p><p>"In that case, may I ask you a favor? As we pass Mrs. Griffiths ' boarding-house, would you kindly draw Georgiana out into the street and escort her to the church? I am afraid that, with the rumours of my death, my presence at the boarding-house will cause a stir among the young ladies, and we will never get to the Christmas sermon, and I have promised my brothers and sister to be there. But it is my duty as a guardian to make sure that Georgiana is aware of my return."</p><p>"Well, it's a rather complicated situation, Mr. Parker. I'm afraid the news reached you in Antigua as it did Willingden," and she smiled slyly. "First of all, with the exception of Georgiana, there are no other young ladies at the boarding house at the moment. The Beaufforts won't be back until spring. Secondly, I am sure that Georgiana is already at church, because Mrs. Griffiths is now the vicar's wife — Mrs. Hankins — and the family always goes to church in advance so that Mr. Hankins can prepare for the sermon."</p><p>"Mrs. Hankins?"  Sidney asked, puzzled.</p><p>"Yes, this is also news to me, but it is true. So I'm afraid my help is useless to you in this matter."</p><p>"That's right. So we'll meet Georgiana right in the church, and God only knows how she'll react to my return," Sidney said with annoyance. "But I will accept any reaction from her with Christian humility," and he gave Charlotte an embarrassed smile.</p><p>They walked the rest of the way in silence, enjoying each other's warmth and closeness, and it was only just before the church that Henry wedged himself between them, breaking up their pair and grabbing Uncle Sidney and Charlotte by the arms. So they walked for a while, the three of them, Sidney, Charlotte, and the child holding their hands, until Sidney, longing for Charlotte's nearness, put his left arm around his nephew's shoulder, offering Charlotte his free right hand. The genuine laughter of Henry and Charlotte, and Sidney's joy at the warmth of their hearts, washed over them as if those painful months had never happened.</p><p>The whole scene was observed from the outside by Mr. Stringer, who was approaching the church, looking at his companions in surprise without jealousy. In the first place, it was a complete surprise that Mr. Sidney Parker was alive. Secondly, Charlotte and Sidney, walking arm in arm, and the children happily running around beside them, appeared to Stringer an excellent married couple. The genuine smiles that they naturally radiated to each other and to those around them filled James Stringer's heart with joy for Charlotte.<br/>
Third, instead of a walking stick, Sidney held two prayer books in his hand: a symbol of the lady's favor. And with a friendly smile for Charlotte and a nod for Sidney, James took off his hat and entered the church. A few minutes later, Sidney and Charlotte followed suit, and Henry was already clinging to his father.</p><p>At the church, Sidney did not let go of her hand and voluntarily extended the route, walking up to the stunned vicar, who was speechless at the sight of him. Smiling at Mr. Hankins, Charlotte tried to remove her hand from the crook of Sidney's elbow and retreat to the pew with Mary, but Sidney defiantly covered her hand with his, preventing any attempts to escape, continuing to carelessly communicate with the vicar, cordially welcomed his miraculous resurrection. Charlotte shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, embarrassed by his firm grip, and forced a smile at the vicar's wife, even though she was seething with annoyance and anger at Sidney's behavior, and a plan was forming in her mind to clumsily step on his foot.</p><p>She shot him a furious look, and caught a faint, sly smile that could not have been a reaction to the vicar's words. He did it on purpose, knowing that she would not make a scene in the church! And with a resigned sigh, she finally relaxed her hand on his forearm, and as if on cue, he immediately said:</p><p>"But I won't distract you from your sacred duty, Mr. Hankins. We can talk later. Let's not keep the congregation waiting," and bowing to the vicar and his wife, he said courteously, "Mrs. Hankins," and led Charlotte to a pew in the second row, effectively pinning her between him and Diana.</p><p>"Mr. Parker, that was highly irresponsible! What will people say?"  Charlotte hissed in a whisper.</p><p>"I assure you, Miss Heywood, no one noticed anything but you."</p><p>"I could have sunk into the ground in shame. I'm sure Mrs. Hankins, with her teaching experience and social manners, looked at me with disapproval, " Charlotte whispered.</p><p>"Don't worry about Mrs. Hankins. A happy marriage has darkened her perception and softened her interest in other people. You have nothing to fear from her disapproval. She's harmless. Unlike me. You can't hide from me, and you can't hide from me."</p><p>"But I can always go to Willingden," Charlotte said, her voice proud and indignant, her eyes flashing angrily in his direction.</p><p>"I won't allow it!" his face showed genuine concern. "Please forgive me for my free behavior. But every step I take is dictated by the desire to be near you."</p><p>Charlotte said nothing, looking down. And Sidney, after a pause, and noticing the flush on her cheeks, continued in a more playful tone:</p><p>"After all, you don't think you can frighten me with the distance to Willingden, do you? I flatter myself that I will be able to reach your birthplace in the near future with a certain mission."</p><p>"Mr. Parker, stop! Don't talk about it." There were tears in Charlotte's eyes again.</p><p>"I know it's hard, and you must be disappointed in me. But this is my sincere wish. Besides, we're in the church. I have nothing to hide, and I will not lie. I will do everything possible to turn these wishes into reality. I can guarantee you that."</p><p>Charlotte was silent again, not knowing what to say. It was a mixture of intense joy at hearing the words and a wary despair that, despite his desire to be around, he was still engaged to a fashionable London lady.</p><p>Fortunately, at that moment, Georgiana, accompanied by Croquet, appeared at the door of the church, finishing her walk in the church garden. Her frown and downcast dejection gave way to utter bewilderment when she saw Sidney in the aisle, and then joy and relief played over her face.</p><p>"Mr. Parker" she curtsied like a perfect lady, trying to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself, even though her first impulse was to throw her arms around his neck. No matter how cold, rude, and unfriendly Sidney Parker had been in the past, he was still the only person close to her in this world.</p><p>"Miss Lamb," Sidney said, bowing. "I hope you are in good health? I would certainly have visited you this afternoon, for I only arrived in the city late last night. I was completely ignorant of the rumours of my demise, or I assure you I would have denied it in my letters to the family and to Mrs. Griff... Mrs. Hankins. I suggest you take your seat. We can talk after the Christmas sermon."</p><p>"I will," Georgiana said, beaming. Then she nodded happily to Charlotte and walked with Croquet to the front row, taking a seat next to the vicar's wife. But the joy that was raging inside her would not let her rest, and she would look back again and again, absorbing the image of her guardian sitting too close to her friend in the second row across the aisle. Charlotte's intense, focused expression told Georgiana of Charlotte's struggle with herself, though she didn't know why. While Charlotte tried her best to be unperturbed, feeling Sidney's fingers gently clenched on her left arm.</p><p>When the Christmas sermon was over, Charlotte hurried out into the fresh air, where she happily took her hands in the little hands of the Parker children, much to the delight of Jenny and Henry. And Sidney, surrounded by famous townspeople rushing to ask him questions about his miraculous return, sadly watched her figure head back to Trafalgar House without him.</p><p>He visited Georgiana and Mrs. Hankins, discussing the news and the conditions of the ward's detention, sincerely rejoicing in Georgiana's progress in the level of manners and restraint. When he had left Sanditon, he had left Mrs. Griffiths to be brought up by a flighty, resentful girl, while now a steady and thoughtful young lady sat opposite him. And only Georgiana knew what those manners had cost her!</p><p>After learning of Sidney's passing, she went through all the stages of accepting grief, from denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally accepting the inevitable. The fact that she was now alone, unmarried, with greedy suitors on the doorstep, was too depressing for her, and it was at this moment that she felt that she lacked Sidney's wise and far-sighted protection. And in memory of him, she decided to be a worthy lady, who knows her own worth and does not compromise. If she ever marries, it will be for love. This means that she must become worthy of love and moderate her ardor in order to find a truly worthy husband who will value her, and not her money.</p><p>It was all the more amazing to look at the living culprit of her changes, but to realize that she was changing for her own sake, not for Sidney's. At that moment, she realized that she had grown up, and accepted this fact with the deepest respect.</p><p>After leaving Mrs. Hankins ' house, Sidney returned to Trafalgar House, wanting to find Charlotte as soon as possible and spend free minutes or even hours with her. But Charlotte had deliberately avoided him, having retired to her bedroom earlier on the pretext of writing letters. It was true that she had written the letters, informing her family, her sister Alison, and Lady Susan of Sidney Parker's miraculous return. But the letters were written faster than she had planned, and she spent the rest of the time moving her dresses from place to place. It was so hard to decide what to wear in the evening! And is it even worth dressing up? In the end, wearing a modest evening dress, she threw an Indian shawl over her shoulders, which had been unfairly left in the trunk for quite a long time, and now exuded the most subtle scent of patchouli, the leaves that Lady Susan's maids had put on the shawl when they packed her trunks when they left London. And now, wrapped in a shawl, Charlotte could feel a light, soothing smell on her shoulders, covering her with memories of the meeting in the gazebo in the garden…</p><p>With quiet steps, book in hand, Charlotte went down to the living room, where the Parker brothers were already having a lively conversation. Glancing around the room, she was glad to join Diana, catching Sidney's concerned gaze on her.</p><p>The festive dinner was once again lively and fun, and after Arthur and Diana left, the day ended as a normal family evening. Still studiously avoiding her middle brother, Charlotte sat down in a chair and pored over a book, while across from her, in a chair, sat Sidney Parker, a newspaper spread out on his lap, casting wary glances in her direction. Feeling these eyes on her, Charlotte shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, and as soon as the clock struck another full hour, she offered to help Mary, and when she was told that nothing was needed, she preferred to go to bed early.</p><p>She tossed and turned in bed late into the night, to no avail. Sleep did not come. Sidney Parker's words and touch were still in her mind. She lit the candle again and reached for a book on the bedside table. But there was no book.</p><p>With a gasp, Charlotte wrapped herself in the shawl hanging over the back of the chair and carefully went downstairs in search of a book. It wasn't the book, it was the bookmark in it. Sidney's farewell letter, written on the day of the duel, was kept in a book! What if someone finds the book and reads the letter?</p><p>As quietly as she could, she went into the living room and was surprised to see that the fire was still burning. She glanced around and caught sight of the sofa where she'd been sitting tonight, but she couldn't find the book. Perhaps it was placed on a shelf in the cabinet in the study, and she hesitantly went there. Her book was not on the table or on the shelf, and as she was returning to the living room, she noticed a shadow in the doorway again.</p><p>"Can't we sleep together in this house again, Miss Heywood?"</p><p>"Oh, I was just looking for a forgotten book. I wanted to read before going to bed."</p><p>"This book?"  Sidney asked, holding up the open book he had just been reading.</p><p>"Yes, this one," Charlotte said softly, knowing that he had probably found his letter inside.</p><p>"This is a very informative book, with hidden wisdom," he noted playfully, raising his other hand, clutching his farewell letter to her, written before the duel a few months ago. A simple piece of paper folded in four. "How far have you come... with this book?"</p><p>"I haven't read the letter, if that's what you mean," Charlotte said sadly, taking a few slow steps toward him. "I remembered what you said about there being nothing there that you couldn't tell me in person. I just kept it. As a memory of what it really was. And then, when the terrible news about Nemesis came, I just couldn't open it. It seemed to me that if I opened it and read it, I would never be able to hear these words live again."  Tears were already streaming from her eyes, and her voice was a little hoarse. "That if I read these lines, everything will become real and I will be forced to live in a world where you are no longer there."</p><p>"I am not superstitious, Charlotte, but I will gladly burn this letter so that you will never read it, and so that I will always have a chance to tell you all this in person."  His voice was hoarse now, too. "Do you mind burning it?"</p><p>"No, not at all," Charlotte whispered, a quiet sadness in her voice.</p><p>He walked over to the fireplace, looking around as if looking for something, and then handed her the letter, as if inviting her to stand beside him and throw it into the fireplace on her own. Charlotte obeyed, and moved slowly toward Sidney, taking the letter from his hand. And then, with a questioning look in his eyes, she squeezed the scribbled sheet of paper in her hands for the last time and threw it into the fire. And along with the written sheet of paper, folded in four, pain, longing, resentment and other troubles were now burning up. And as she watched the leaf curl into a black ball and disintegrate into small pieces of ash, she met his gaze with a sad smile, and the next moment she felt his insistent kiss on her lips. </p><p>Impressed by the symbolism of the burning of the farewell letter, she returned his kiss confidently, savoring every moment until the hour hand on the mantelpiece moved, making a tinkling sound. With a sharp sigh, she pulled away from his embrace, aware of what had just happened, and raised her hand for an indignant slap in his direction, but as if he knew her thoughts in advance, he caught her wrist in flight with his hand and nodded his head to the right, pointing to the mistletoe hanging over the fireplace.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I had to do it," he said slyly. "It was Henry's idea."</p><p>"I'll pretend to believe you, Mr. Parker. For now. But I will definitely compare your version of events with Henry's version. In the morning." And she went with a brisk, businesslike step to the stairs, but stopped midway and took her book from the mantelpiece. It was only when she closed the bedroom door behind her that Charlotte let out a genuine laugh, acknowledging Sidney's resourcefulness and determination.</p><p>Needless to say, in a state of euphoria, she instantly fell asleep?</p><p>And Sidney, with a dreamy smile on his face, now remembered the kiss, her reaction, and the charming smell that trailed behind the figure of Charlotte. Well, he hasn't reached his goal yet, but he's on the right track.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Well, ladies, the fact that we will not see the happiness of the couple Charlotte and Sidney on the screen in the end, and for Charlotte in subsequent seasons, the writers may have provided another love interest, does not change my love for this couple and my desire to bring them to a happy end. I still believe in Sidlotte and believe that Sidney Parker is the true love of Charlotte Heywood, even though Theo James decided not to return to the role of Sidney Parker, citing an "interesting" and "unique" ending for his character. <br/>This chapter is longer than usual, but it was done on purpose so as not to make you nervous and not to make you suffer uncertainty in such a vague and difficult time, when we all together mourn the dream of reuniting Sidney and Charlotte.<br/>In my universe, Sidney is always fighting for her love and will do everything she can to legitimately be around Charlotte. This is exactly the way I saw him in the series. Well, Sidlotte forever</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Waking up the next morning was inspiring and easy. Charlotte fluttered into the living room, but she wasn't alone. Sidney was already there, entertaining his nephews.</p>
<p>"Good morning, Miss Heywood," he said, rising to his full height and giving her a gentle smile. </p>
<p>"Good morning, Mr. Parker," Charlotte said uneasily. Her eyes flicked unconsciously to the fireplace where they had kissed the night before, and Sidney saw it and grinned. </p>
<p>He leaned over and whispered something to Henry, which brought a mischievous smile to his nephew's face. He quickly took off and ran to the sisters, who were busily sorting out their presents. </p>
<p>"Did your book help you sleep last night?" Sidney asked solicitously.</p>
<p>"No, I didn't need it," Charlotte said, looking embarrassed, swaying slightly from heel to toe. </p>
<p>He grinned, but didn't say anything, just continued to study her face, trying to gauge her reaction to the events of the previous night. There was definitely no anger or discontent. Only embarrassment and a little uncertainty, as if her state reflected his own emotions. </p>
<p>Looking into the eyes of a man in love was awkward, and Charlotte looked away, noticing Henry's strange behavior out of the corner of her eye. He stood by the fireplace and looked around once more. Then he took two small steps to the side and looked back again, and after smoothing his hair and straightening his waistcoat, as his father often did, he finally gathered his courage and called Charlotte's name twice, attracting her attention. </p>
<p>"Charlotte. Charlotte!" Henry beckoned uncertainly, handing her a lollipop. </p>
<p>Touched by this gesture, Charlotte approached the boy and, as usual, sat down to communicate with him at the level of his eyes. He handed her a lollipop and, making sure that her eyes were lowered to the gift in his hand, nervously kissed her cheek. </p>
<p>It was nice, but unexpected. Especially since when Charlotte looked up, Henry's frightened eyes were looking at her. But still, in a firm voice, he said:</p>
<p>"I demand a kiss back. Dad always says it's important to keep the traditions alive. And now we're standing under the mistletoe."</p>
<p>"Ahhh," Charlotte said, glancing at Uncle Sidney, who looked pleased. "How can I refuse?"  and she pressed her lips to the child's cheek in response. "But you know, Henry, you don't need mistletoe to get my kiss. Just ask!" The happy boy immediately ran into his uncle's arms, whispering something in his ear. And while Sidney listened intently to Henry, he kept his eyes on Charlotte.</p>
<p>Breakfast was noisy. The children, having found sweets in their presents, were now excitedly discussing the taste of what they had tasted. The adults at the table were no less happy.</p>
<p>During the day, the brothers would sort things out in the study, and Tom would share with Sidney the latest news and the status of the city's restoration, glad that now that Sidney was back, the future construction was once again secured with Mrs. Campion's capital. Sidney held back as best he could, hoping only that Tom wasn't speaking loudly enough for the words to reach the living room, where he was sure Charlotte was with the children at the time.</p>
<p>In the late afternoon, the family went to Sanditon House: Lady Denham had invited the local society to dinner. The evening was more relaxed than expected, because the old lady, locked up alone in her newly renovated mansion, felt a strong need for company and did not want to be abrupt and unfriendly. And the whole company appreciated her softened image and healthy complexion, so in harmony with the new mosaic floor with chic pink peonies on it. Well, there was no more snake venom. Only peace and harmony. </p>
<p>It was only on the way back from Sanditon House that Sidney and Charlotte had been able to enjoy each other's company during the hectic day. After a general discussion of Lady Denham's new drawing-room, he delivered a monologue on the importance of family in any man's life, ending with the following sentence:</p>
<p>"In fact, my status as a dead man on the Nemesis has revealed a lot to me. I clearly understood that I didn't want to live my life in a forced marriage. Under no circumstances. Now that Lady Denham is ready to wait, and the new ships are being built, we will be able to ensure the restoration of the city without raising additional funds, although the forecasts are very cautious."  He grimaced slightly. Who knows what else Tom has in store?</p>
<p>"I'm going to London in a day to present the witnesses in my case. And I hope to settle the matter with Eliza once and for all. And after…"</p>
<p>"Don't tell me that, Mr. Parker!" Charlotte cut him off abruptly and stopped.</p>
<p>Sidney stared at her in amazement, trying to understand her reaction. She didn't want to hear about it now, or didn't want to hear about it at all?</p>
<p>"Don't talk to me about such plans until you're officially free." Charlotte answered with a deep sigh, then lowered her eyes and quickened her pace. </p>
<p>Sidney stood there for a moment, looking after her. Then he smiled, tossed his cane in the air, and caught up with Charlotte on the road with quick steps. </p>
<p>The walk tired everyone out and they went to bed almost immediately upon their return. No one went down that night.</p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, December 27, everyone was having fun as usual at breakfast, soaking up the cozy home atmosphere. The lively conversation was interrupted for a time by the mail, which, in anticipation of an important message, Tom asked to be brought at once, without waiting for the end of breakfast. There was no long-awaited letter for Tom, but there was a letter for Sidney. And raising an eyebrow in surprise, he casually opened it, simultaneously distracted by the conversation with Tom. As he continued to read, his face grew more serious, until finally he cast a guilty glance at Charlotte. She immediately sensed something was wrong. </p>
<p>"Is something wrong?"  Charlotte asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I hope not," he said with a forced smile. "It's just that the constable wants you to arrive in London earlier."  Changing his tone to a more formal one, he turned to his brother. "I'm afraid we'll have to leave for London this afternoon, Tom. Mr. Bricknell informs me of additional matters that require my participation." His voice was steady, but his eyes had gone blank and focused.</p>
<p>There was also concern on the morning walk with the children. Even on the beach, Sidney was thoughtful and distant. And even though Charlotte was in Georgiana's company, she couldn't help but look in his direction, sensing that something was wrong. </p>
<p>They dined in a light bustle. The carriage was ready, and the trunks were packed. Only passengers were waiting.</p>
<p>As they left, waiting for Tom, Sidney gave Charlotte a worried look and a guilty smile. Understanding his confusion and concern, Charlotte wished him good luck.</p>
<p>"Good luck, Mr. Parker."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Miss Heywood. I'll need it," he said cryptically, and with another guilty smile, only the corners of his lips left the doorway and entered the waiting carriage. </p>
<p>A sense of unease was approaching Charlotte the moment the carriage turned the corner. And if it hadn't been for Lady Susan's letter, delivered by a breathless courier who had apparently ridden all night from London, Charlotte would have been tormenting herself with the reasons for Sidney's sudden uneasiness. </p>
<p>Lady Susan's letter was warm and friendly and hopeful. She expressed her joy that Sidney was alive. And she said that the widow was not grieving at all, did not wear mourning, and was often seen accompanied by a noble lord. "Your Mr. Parker is right, my dear," she wrote. "He should not be in a hurry to return to London and advertise his resurrection. If the rumors are to be believed, Lord Gloucester intends to propose to Mrs. Campion in the near future. So until then, Sidney is better off dead."</p>
<p>Charlotte, both excited and worried, was thinking only that Sidney had gone to London. Could his anxiety have been caused by the news of Mrs. Campion's impending engagement to another man? And what does that mean for her, Charlotte? All these thoughts shifted the focus of Charlotte's attention to her personal experiences, and she prepared to wait patiently for his return.</p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, Sidney arrived at the magistrate's office at the appointed time with the witnesses. Tom, the steward, and Lord Babington confirmed his identity and signed their statements. The sheets were sealed and attached to the case, on the basis of which a pardon to the court for the restoration of his rights and obligations will be prepared.</p>
<p>When Tom had finished signing the documents, he asked if they were finished and if he could be free. His plans included buying gifts for his wife and children before he left. </p>
<p>As Tom and the clerk of the Sidney company left the office, the constable took a long leave of the smiling Tom on the doorstep. It was only after watching the elder Parker's hurried figure that the constable ushered in the waiting lady, who had nervously clutched her redicule and was now eyeing Tom Parker hungrily from head to foot. </p>
<p>"Ma'am, please come to the office. But before you go in, I must inform you that you will now meet with Mr. Sidney Parker. You need to identify if your husband is among these gentlemen in the office."</p>
<p>"Of course, Constable, how can I not recognize my own husband?"  the young lady said indignantly, rushing into the office.</p>
<p>At the threshold, however, she paused, dazed, and then threw up her hands, and with quick steps came forward and seized Lord Babington by the arm. </p>
<p>"My dear, you're alive! I'm so glad!" she wailed. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, miss, but you're confusing me with someone else! We don't know each other. And I'm happily married," Babington chuckled. </p>
<p>The woman stared at the second man in the room, dumbfounded, and realized that the second man bore almost no resemblance to Mr. Parker's brother, who had just come out. Yes, he was tall, too, but the color of his hair and eyes, as well as his face in general, were very different from the gentleman who had just come out. His eyes were sharp, almost dangerous, as if there was anger behind them. One look at his figure told her to stay away from him. </p>
<p>"Ma'am, please have a seat. Let me introduce you to Lord Babington,"and the constable pointed to the gentleman to whom she had just tried to force her arms,"And his friend, Mr. Sidney Parker."</p>
<p>Sidney nodded slightly at the stranger, his eyes still piercing her.</p>
<p>"Oh, my God," the woman sobbed, sinking into a chair. Tears flowed freely. Sidney was getting impatient. The constable poured her a glass of water and handed it to her in a friendly gesture.</p>
<p>"Now, ma'am, tell us your story from the beginning." </p>
<p>After taking a few sips of water, the lady set the glass aside and began. </p>
<p>"We met Sidney," and she glanced incredulously at the sinister figure in black, "On the ship. "Nemesis". It was love at first sight!" She continued dreamily, rolling her eyes dreamily , "So strong that 2 days later he proposed to me and the next day we were married on the ship."</p>
<p>"So fast? Without reading bans?" Babington asked incredulously, remembering his own wedding and how patiently he had waited to be reunited with Esther. </p>
<p>"No, the captain said it wasn't necessary. But still, Sidney had a special permission from the archbishop!"</p>
<p>"How fortunate," Sidney said sarcastically.</p>
<p>"Yes!" The woman protested. This strange gentleman, who called himself by her husband's name, filled her with fear and suspicion. "That's right! When he left England, he felt that he would need it. As if fate itself had brought us together far from home!"</p>
<p>"Let's get down to business." Sidney interrupted her reverie. "You say you're married? Any witnesses?" A marriage certificate?"</p>
<p>"No," the woman said sharply, and pouted. "There were witnesses, of course. And there was a marriage certificate. Everything is as it should be. But after the crash, the certificate was lost, and the nice people who were at our wedding, including my companion, went down." The tears were streaming down her face again.</p>
<p>Sidney swore under his breath, and Babbers, noticing this, tugged at his sleeve, telling him to calm down and sit down next to him. Sidney did so, leaning back in his chair.</p>
<p>In the end, the lady came to her senses and was able to continue.</p>
<p>"But the records must be in the ship's book. It was saved, wasn't it? Is this the book?" she pointed to a thick folio on the constable's desk.</p>
<p>Constable Bricknell grimaced, scratched his chin, and reluctantly replied:</p>
<p>"Yes, it's the Nemesis' logbook. What date was the ceremony held?"</p>
<p>"November 24…"</p>
<p>The constable turned the book closer to the last entries and flipped through several pages, stopping at the events of the day in question. He ran his finger carefully over the scribbled lines until he stopped abruptly. His clear look at Sidney didn't bode well. </p>
<p>"Gentlemen, please," he said, turning the book to face them, pointing to a specific entry. </p>
<p>Babbers and Sidney ran their eyes over the writing until their eye caught the record of the marriage between Miss Ann Florence Bigelow and Mr. Sidney F. Parker.</p>
<p>"Mr. Sidney F. Parker?"  Lord Babington asked Sidney, puzzled? </p>
<p>Sidney caught his eye and turned it to the constable and asked a question:</p>
<p>"But why isn't the groom's name spelled out in full? Only the initials."<br/>"Oh, it's simple. Sidney does not like his middle name, given in honor of his father, with whom he has a strained relationship, and therefore tries not to use it. Besides, it's..." she hesitated, "it's a little funny." </p>
<p>"What does F. mean? In his name?"  Sidney snarled.</p>
<p>"Fenimore," the unhappy woman blurted out. "Mr. Sidney Fenimore Parker!"  she said proudly. </p>
<p>Sidney rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily. </p>
<p>"Oh, my God, I'm tired of this! Sometimes I think it was easier to stay dead." He sighed, but then asked the constable in a more even tone. "Mr. Bricknell, do you realize that Mr. Sidney Fenimore Parker, who sailed on the Nemesis and decided to spontaneously marry this lady on the ship, and I have nothing in common? Can I be free?"</p>
<p>"Mr. Parker, I'm asking you to stay. We haven't fully figured out who this person was yet."</p>
<p>"Good" Sidney sank back into his chair wearily.</p>
<p>"Mis... mmm... ma'am, describe what the man you married looked like."</p>
<p>"Oh," the woman said dreamily, and the men realized that they had touched on her favorite topic. "He was beautiful! His eyes shone with happiness on our wedding day."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," the constable interrupted. "Happy eyes are not a sufficient characteristic for me to find him. Something like height, weight, build, hair color, eyes, and other signs will help more."</p>
<p>"Oh," said the woman, "Then he's about the same height as this gentleman," and she pointed to Lord Babington. "The hair color is the same, only the hair was much longer. Eyes? Light brown eyes." She thought again.</p>
<p>"Wait," Sidney seemed to wake up, "Pretty solid? A coat of dark green broadcloth? Mustache? Did he have a rather bushy moustache?"</p>
<p>"Yes!" the lady jumped up. "This is my Sidney. On the day of the meeting, he was wearing a green frock coat and a striped waistcoat, and in his buttonhole was an opal brooch. I took Mr. Babington for my husband at first, because they look alike. When I came in, I thought he'd just cut his hair and shaved off his mustache…"</p>
<p>"Now everything falls into place!" Sidney gasped. "Constable, this is a description of the man I gave the card to, asking him to tell the registrar that I was leaving the ship. On the business card," he said distantly, as if recalling that day, "Yes, my business card doesn't have the initials of my middle name, so I guess he had to invent or substitute his own. Now everything is clear. This man boarded the ship under my name and even tried to marry me to someone else! Oh, if I met him now, I don't know what I'd do with him!"</p>
<p>"Looks like it. I am glad that we have sorted out this situation. Stay, Mr. Parker, we'll need to add this additional information to the affidavit. And I can tell you, ma'am, that I'm sorry. Your husband, apparently, turned out to be a fraud who got on the ship under a false name and feeling his impunity did what he wanted on the ship. He married you illegally. And the marriage license was probably fake. No one knows who this person is or what his name is. That remains to be seen, but it is unlikely that we will succeed. I repeat, I am very sorry. But we can't satisfy your request. Mr Parker's will will not be opened as he is still alive. Just as this man is not your husband."</p>
<p>Tears welled up again in the startled woman's eyes.</p>
<p>"But what do I do now? Our marriage was over!"  She covered her mouth in horror. "Here I live in my brother's house and have not yet advertised the change of my status, hoping that my husband will still survive, return to me and we will announce the marriage together. And now it turns out I'm not married at all and ... ruined?"</p>
<p>"You'll have to choose what you want to call yourself," she heard the constable say through her sobs. "Remain Miss Bigelow, or become the widow of Mr. Sidney Fenimore Parker. I would recommend the first option, because if the question of your husband's origin comes up, then the marriage will definitely be recognized as illegal."</p>
<p>The realization of the horror of her situation triggered a defense mechanism and the flow of tears instantly stopped. </p>
<p>"Thank you, Constable, but..." she hesitated. "But maybe this Mr. Parker will marry me after all," and she glanced timidly in Sidney's direction. "I am good at embroidery, drawing, playing the piano, sewing. I'll be a good wife!"</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Miss," Sidney broke in. "I definitely can't marry you, despite all your talents. I'm almost married. And I can't betray the trust of a woman I love to save your reputation."</p>
<p>"Oh, yes, Mr. Parker's fiancee is a lovely young lady with a sympathetic and kind heart, but her determined nature will definitely not be thrilled with her fiancé marrying someone else," the constable chuckled.</p>
<p>"Eli..." Babbers was just beginning to ask the question in surprise when he received a kick in the shin with a boot and looked at Sidney in a dazed way. The man gave the constable a tight smile, as if nothing had happened.</p>
<p>"Yes, you're right, Constable. I can't betray Charlotte's trust." Now Babbers looked from the constable to his friend, still not sure what was going on. However, he quickly recovered and asked a question.</p>
<p>"Miss, would you consider a position as a governess somewhere up north on a large, isolated estate?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Yes, if there's no other way."</p>
<p>"Then I'll ask my friends who needs a governess right now and give the constable a list. He will contact you. Your talents can still help you get settled in life and even, maybe, get married in the future."</p>
<p>"Yes, thank you."  She stood up wearily.</p>
<p>"Wait a minute. Wait! Before you step out of the door, you must decide and tell me what name you finally chose. I will need this to send letters to your house and to fill out protocols.<br/>"Miss Bigelow," she whispered dryly.</p>
<p>"Thank you, miss. This is a wise decision."</p>
<p>As Miss Bigelow stepped out of the door, the constable exhaled with an effort, loosened the handkerchief around his neck, and plopped down in the chair behind him. And then, with a well-honed movement, he opened the drawer, put the bottle on the table and hooked 3 glasses at once with his fingers. </p>
<p>"Gentlemen, we definitely need a drink." He quickly poured the alcohol into the glasses.</p>
<p>"So, in the light of recent events, I think we should put a clause in the petition for the court to recognize me as not having set foot on board the Nemesis. Who knows what else this man has done in my name, and what the consequences will be?"</p>
<p>"It's a sensible decision. But proof may be required. I admit that we will not have the most typical process. And believe me, I've seen a lot in my career. Can anyone confirm your story about a fire on the estate?"</p>
<p>"Of course. The only question is when the proof will come. Mail to and from Antigua is delayed. And the minimum response time will be more than 2 weeks. However," Sidney mused, "I wrote a couple of letters to my partners that night, and to Tom, where I mentioned that I had to stay in Antigua for the time being. I don't know why I mentioned it, because I hadn't previously informed these gentlemen of my intention to return."</p>
<p>"Great! Letters describing your solution with postage stamps would be perfect!"</p>
<p>"Yes, but I wrote them on November 21. And if my family thought I was really dead, the letter didn't reach Sanditon. This may also be the case with other emails."</p>
<p>At that moment, in Sanditon, Charlotte was sorting through the morning mail on Tom's desk, looking thoughtfully at a letter from Sidney Parker, addressed to Tom from the remote tropical island of Antigua.</p>
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